Thursday, February 19, 2009

Bad writing

So here's a meme for you. From Life With a Little One and More because I've obviously got too much time on my hands and therefore assume you do to!

Write a very bad opening line to a fictional novel. It's actually harder than it looks, because it's got to be BAD. Really really BAD. I read some of the entries on the blog from the original official contest and actually did want to read some of those novels. Which is sad. I'm pathetic. Or so starved for new books I'd read anything. (Actually I've always read anything I can get my hands on, yes, I have read the ingredients on the sides of gum packages while standing in the supermarket check out. This is how I know that gum has been known to cause some types of cancer in some laboratory animals, the image of dozens of rats chewing gum has somehow never left me - yes, I know they don't have the rats chew gum... look now you've distracted me!)

For the record, I'm trying to use literature as the carrot to finishing my dissertation. I'm forcing myself to only read books I already have read until this is all over. That way I can put the book down and go back to French. (Note: did several hours yesterday, the author has finished describing all of the silver vessels and now has moved on to still-life. I think he's going to next cover mosaic and will only present his evidence for the relationship between fish and death in the last few sentences. I hate him.)

Right, here's my entry -

Waves of pity for all of God's creatures crashed over Sally as she sent Fishy's small, partially decomposed yellow carcass on its last lonely swim, down the slightly stained toilet dotted with old stale urine, and out towards the cold, deep, wine-dark sea, or so she supposed as she depressed the lever.
-- from "The Death and Life of Fishy the Goldfish"


  1. Anonymous1:29 PM

    Oh, I like that! It's so bad it's good!

    I've just done the same game.. good old Jenners has given us something fun to do!

  2. Oh that's very good - I mean bad! Love it!

  3. Hi! I don't think we've "met" before in blogland but I'm glad we did! This was such a classic bit of bad writing -- I hope it doesn't infect your dissertation!!! Gotta love the part "...dotted with old stale urine" -- paints such a pretty picture! And the amazingly awkward construction was brilliant. Thank you for playing! I loved it!

  4. Joy Winstead11:45 AM

    Bad writing can really be bad! It might really sound obvious but it is reality. Just think of bad writing for dissertation or thesis paper. It can be treated as a weakness or hole, which can be a subject of criticism on your part. Anyway, good point on how bad writing can ruin any paper.


Keep it clean, don't be mean....