Cup of creamy goodness picked in our own backyard!

Okay, that title is misleading - but this post will end with a recipe for the best kick-ass cream of mushroom soup EVER! Cause, I don't know if you know, but cream of mushroom soup is actually tasty when it's not out of a can. Canned cream of mushroom soup should be banned. It's only worth making bad casseroles and no one should have to eat bad casseroles!

I was not passionate about cream of mushroom soup until last night. But last night I had a taste-bud epiphany and I must now spread the word.

But first a digression - All the windows on one side of the apartment, which includes my bedroom and my office are being replaced. Yesterday the old windows were ripped out and new ones nailed in. This means no heat on all day yesterday. Now the new windows are all open so that the carpenter can easily pack insulation around them. So, still no heat. I haven't felt my nose, fingers or toes for the last 36 hours. God I hope tonight I can turn on the heat and not feel the icy draft that is common to Denmark in the fall.

Denmark in the fall, often gorgeous, but freakin' chilly.

Back to the soup. In order to get to last nights feast of flavor I have to go back two days, to when the Danish Boy was assigned a story by his editor. "I want a story about picking mushrooms!" the editor cried. And for whatever reason, the DB was chosen to write, what he calls "a puff piece." I say it is a great chance to try to write a gonzo-journalist story. l I even offered to write it for him. I was really exited by the idea, as you can see.

So yesterday, my boy gets a chance to write a story that would be relevant for the next day's paper, but because his newspaper is trying this new approach, called the "planned newspaper," his editor refused to let him off the hook and so the DB headed off into the woods to pick mushrooms with a nature guide, instead of writing up a story about the latest Gallup poll on the voting youth of Denmark.

Digression - what the heck is a "planned newspaper"? I mean, that's why they call it the NEWS, fercryinoutloud! You can't plan the news. Or, if you could, could you also give me tomorrow night's stock figures? Honestly, once I get done straightening out the danish political system (psst, everyone who hates the current government, instead of voting for 5 different parties, thus splitting the vote and ensuring that the government will not ever change, could you all just pick ONE FREAKING PARTY TO BACK! And hey, Social Democrats, stop pushing a nanny state solution during your campaigns. No one wants a nanny state, which is why Venstre keeps winning. And Venstre, dump the goddamned Danskfolkparty - they suck and anyone is better than that poor excuse for the KKK.) I'm going to have a go at the newspapers. First on my list, no more "planned newspapers" because that's just dumb. Second, stop laying off journalists and trying to compete with the free papers. The free papers are going to collapse soon, the economy cannot afford it. Nyavisen died, so will the others. Lowering yourself to their tabloid standards is tarnishing your reputation. Gah!

Anyway, the DB goes mushroom picking. He learned what mushrooms you can eat and how they are often in symbiotic accord with certain species of trees and all kinds of other things. He was bored stiff. The DB loves nature. He likes to walk through it and look at it. It's me who points to things and says "what's that!" Or "oh, look at the raccoon tracks! You can tell that their 'coons because of the little thumb print here!" I really should have been the person on that hike and the person writing that story. Damn and tarnation.

So after an hour in the woods (which, incidentally, are all over Aarhus, carefully cultivated and well kept) he brought back a bag of mushrooms. "Here" he says, "I slayed dinner."

Yup, my hero returns from the hunt. Only later would he admit that the guide had picked them. But during that time did I question his ability to pick edible mushrooms? No I did not. I accepted those mushrooms as dinner and up I cooked 'em.

Of course how I could cook them was another story. They were a little weird looking. Not your button mushroom, that's for sure. The DB suggested that I saute them up and serve them that way. Pshaw! I can do better than that. And I did.

So I now present the most awesome of Cream of Mushroom Soups (brought to you by Allrecipes.com).

Digression - all of my measuring cups and things are still packed. I highly doubt the accuracy of the IKEA silverware as measuring spoons. Also, I didn't have enough mushrooms. Actually, although I did use everything listed in the ingredients, I sort of played with the amounts. Okay, so the soup I made may not be exactly what I was supposed to be making. I'll put my changes in italics in the right hand side of this table that I spent hours writing the code for. Hey, I learned something new - html code sucks ass.

Cream of Mushroom Soup	Archaeogoddess Style
5 cups sliced mushrooms - any type	4 cupsish wild mushrooms, I have no idea what type
1 1/2 cups chicken broth	2 cups or 500 ml, because that's what one cube of bouillon makes
1/2 cup chopped onion	A handful of chopped onion, because it looked like it was probably 1/2 cup
1/8 tsp dried thyme	That's a crying shame, I poured some in my palm and then added another dash or two or more. Hey, I like thyme
3tbsp butter	Totally put in 50g or so, which is more than 3 tbsp, but I like butter
3 tbsp flour	I put three soup spoons of flour in, which were not leveled or in any way properly measured
1/4 tsp salt	Or perhaps more, I used my palm to measure and I'm not good at that at all
1/4 tsp pepper	About the same amount as the salt
1 cup half and half	Used whipping cream. And probably more than a cup, since 1 cup is 235 ml but I used the whole carton - which is 250 ml
1 tbsp sherry	Ha! A soup spoon and a lot more. I like sherry.

1) In a large pot cook mushrooms, onions, thyme and broth until tender - 10-15 minutes. So easy!
2) Puree, it's okay to leave some chunks. Oh thank god for my immersion blender! But there wasn't really enough soup to use it easily, so I had to sort of turn the pot at an angle... that's okay, I am totally doubling the recipe for next time.
3) In a smaller pot, melt butter and whisk in flour until smooth. Add salt, pepper and half and half. Mix thoroughly and add mixture to soup. The recipe writer originally wanted you to do this in a big bowl and add the mushroom mix to the cream, but that's just dumb and uses too many pots.
4) Bring soup to a boil, cook until thickened. About 30 seconds if you use whipping cream. Add sherry. Season to taste. And eat that bad boy while it's hot! So freakin' good!

The trouble with research.

The trouble with research is that it piles up. There is the stuff you need to research and thus goes on a to-do list and takes up valuable thought processes and then there is the physical research debris that you cannot get rid of, because you never know when you might write that article or thesis or need to start a bonfire.

The result is that you have potential research piling up metaphysically, current research piling up on your desk, and previous research piling up on your bookshelves.

I have research coming out of my ears. And most of it, tragically is not my own.

No, I'm not stealing other people's research, I am talking about the Danish Boy's research.

If we were to measure book shelf space and use that to judge quantity of research the numbers would go:
9 feet of research space for the archaeogoddess
16 for the Danish Boy - and that's only archaeological research, there's about another 2 feet of philosophy, 1 foot for journalism, and 2 feet that I'll be generous and say we share since they are encyclopedias (of ancient Egypt and the Near East, which I am not currently working on, but hey).

The most frustrating thing of all, at least to me, is that he's not even doing archaeology any more!! That's valuable space that is being taken up with large binders labeled "Akkadian" and "MB tombs: method and theory". Some of these binders are thicker than the binder I have for one chapter of my dissertation. (Space taken up by all dissertation chapter research: 1.5 feet.)

This is because we have very different ways of doing research. I tend to read something, take a page or two of notes and then if I need to see the book or article again, I check it out of the library, again. I deal with finite quantities of data at a time, chapter by chapter and so apart from the huge stack of library books I may have circulating around on the floor, my research space remains small. Lifetime of sharing bedroom and/or office space teaches you to minimize. The DB, on the other hand, has no problem collecting EVERYTHING he may ever need in perpetuity, because he's always had lots of space.

Now, you may be thinking, why, since you've moved and all, don't you just pack it all up and put it away in storage.

Because, dear reader, while the research may not be so useful for me or him, it is useful to the rest of mankind. Also known as those other archaeology student friends of mine.

I have become the one stop shop for research. Need to know something fast? Ask the AG, if she doesn't know it off hand, she can look up the right reference. Got a large topic and don't know where to start? Ask the AG and she'll put you on the right track and possibly even set you up with a preliminary bibliography. And get this: she can even do it for archaeological subjects she knows NOTHING about!

I am... the Archaeogoddess!

So we've moved...

And boy are my arms tired.

So are my legs. Or perhaps I should say "sore are my legs" - ha, I love bad puns.

Seriously, my legs look like Dalmatians, if Dalmatians were tan with blue spots. I am covered in small, medium and very large bruises. I look like I've gone several rounds with a midget. I think the midget won.

I'd take a photo, but since the really spectacular bruises are near groin level, I think I'll pass. The best is a cross-shaped one just at the top inside of my thigh. I seem to have burst a rather large blood vessel up there and the color cannot really be described.

I'd love to say that we are settling in, but that would be a big fat lie. We've still got stuff to move and nowhere to put it. Storage is out, since we've already filled up the storage room we have and both rooms we've moved into are stuffed, and I mean STUFFED, with stuff.

The big problem is that we need to organize before we move in more things. Have you ever tried to move a couch in a small space filled with breakables? Yeah, I think the couch is staying where it is. I also need to run A LOT of cables around the perimeter of the room, which is now completely filled with bookshelves. The cables, of course, are still in the other apartment along with routers and plugs and lamps. This is because most of the clean up moving that we're doing now must be done at night, in the dark, because my husband is working during the day.

I, oh lucky me, get the task of unpacking. And moving furniture.

I just rearranged the furniture in the bedroom. Thankfully, since the floor was freshly finished, I can slide most of the stuff around without too much lifting. Ack! You say, that'll leave a mark! So far, not yet. The floor is SO lacquered both the furniture and myself are sliding all over the place. The so-called no-slip floor protector under my desk is anything but. Every time I step on it I suddenly find myself laying on the couch with my legs up in the air.

Yeah, that couch is staying there all right.

Two things.

One thing that really annoys me is the list at the beginning of every cookbook that tell you the things that you MUST have in your kitchen.

Things that I am told I MUST have, but have managed quite well without:
1) a slotted spoon (use a fork or a regular spoon people)
2) a set of mixing bowls (mostly what bothers me is that they give you a size requirement, you know any number of sizes will do, I use my salad bowls and soup bowls and cups depending on how big a mixing bowl I need)
3) kitchen tongs (I'd like tongs, I really would, but a fork and a spoon have done me well over the years)
4) ruler (this is just plain stupid, almost nothing needs to be exactly measured this way and only encourages budding cooks to be overly anal)
5) pastry blender/knife (use your freakin' hands)
6) spreader (as in a thin flat spatula) (use a freakin' knife)
7) custard cups (use your damn water glasses)
8) rolling pin (this is actually something I'd like to get, some day, but a bottle works really well)
9) egg separator (use your freakin' hands if you can't figure out how to use the egg shell!)
10) melon baller (yes, this was listed as a must have and I have NEVER EVER needed one)

The second is the assumption that you have other obscure things as well.

1) double boiler (without fail it is not mentioned in the list of must haves, but always turns up in the dessert recipes)
2) parfait glasses (unless you were married with 300+ guests, chances are you do not have a set of these hanging around your house)
3) local [insert foreign place name] specialty store (my California cookbook is very guilt of this, unless you live in San Francisco, you probably don't have a local asian specialty store)

There are, IMHO, only two things that you really really need to have in order to turn out a meal in your kitchen.
1) water heater
2) the internet

From making a pot of tea to oh-shit-I-don't-have-enough-boiling-water-to-cover-the-pasta, the water heater is in use in my home almost constantly. At least once a day. Back before we got a coffee machine, this is also how we made coffee. Yeah, you could point out that I could have boiled water in a pot on the stove, but I say to you, HA! With a water heater I can make coffee and instant soup NOWHERE NEAR A KITCHEN STOVE!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you don't actually need a kitchen if you have a water heater. That makes it the number one most important thing you may ever own in your life - and you read it here first. Unless someone else said it first on some other blog, but you know, I do not have time to scour the web looking for precedents.

The internet can also save your butt in the kitchen or... get this... give you recipes for things you can make in your water heater WITHOUT a kitchen! It also gives you regular recipes, including a handy search option (I google) to find recipes for, say, all that red cabbage you suddenly have in your refrigerator. Realize you can't get creme fraise in a hundred mile radius from your house? You can find a substitution on the web! But hands down the most important thing the internet can do for you in your kitchen is answer that age old question "you want me to do what with the what?" We all know how to steam veggies (well, except for my dear Dane, but that's another post), but the first time I was asked to reduce the drippings to one half? I took half of the drippings out and poured it down the drain. Lets not talk about that moment, okay? I was also stumped with "deglaze the pan with some wine" the first time I saw it. This is why cooking blogs were invented and I am extremely grateful for everyone who has ever posted how many grams are in a tablespoon of butter (14g btw).

The down side to the internet and cooking blogs is that you may suddenly realize you are not the chef you thought you were. This becomes readily apparent when you are looking for something to do with your left over red cabbage and discover that someone else had the same problem and so just whipped up a hot and sour soup with it. Completely pulled the recipe out of their ass and presto! Brilliant soup.

Me, a throw a bunch of leftover broccoli, an egg, some milk and a bunch of cheese into a pan and try to cook it. Lets just say it would have made a great quiche had I only put it in a crust. As it was... well, it was pretty tasty, if you like salty green mush, but nothing that I would make anyone else eat. Gah! If only I had thought "gee, this might make quiche! I should put it in a crust and bake it!"

Next time I will totally google the shit out of that.

It's my party and I'll cook if I want to!

So, apart from the fact that we're flat broke and so eating out is NOT an option and despite the fact that I desperately needed to use the yeast cake that was in the fridge (how gross does the term "yeast cake" sound? really gross? yeah, me too) I actually did really want to cook my own birthday dinner.

I like coking for an appreciative audience and I like the instant gratification I get from eating the results (provided that they taste good).

I sort of didn't start early enough... but by the time dinner was served (9pm) I'd been on my feet cooking, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and more cooking... for over 9 hours.

What all did I make?

1) Pine-nut Olive Oil Bread: fantastically good, very labor intensive. It came from my Californian cuisine cookbook, which, although it turns out great meals after a fashion, I am not sure if it was particularly designed to be used by normal not-professionally-trained people. The part that had me howling was the "knead in your mixer, using the bread hook, for 8 minutes." My KitchenAid mixer has not yet arrived and I don't know if my Danish Boy ordered it with a bread hook, but I happen to know that my current hand-held mixer does NOT have a low setting (it's settings start at "beat" and end with "dervish") nor the proper attachments. This was a hand made bread. Which means it did NOT get whirled around the bowl for 8 minutes.
2) Tomato-Shiitake Mushroom Bisque: this is a fantastic soup. Really really really good. I do not generally like tomatoes and I am only just warming up the other foreign mushrooms (I'll do button and portobello, no problem, I'm working up to the others) but this is an amazing soup and crazy easy to make, in my humble opinion. (I did just wrestle with the bread, brain surgery would probably have felt easy.)
3) Asian Noodle Salad: and not just any asian noodle salad, but the one on Pioneer Woman's blog. It, uh, makes a lot of salad if you follow it. Cabbage heads are VERY big in Denmark.
4) Apple Dumplings with homemade carmel sauce: I really wish the other food had not been so damn good and that I had not made so damn much of it and that I hadn't, therefore, eaten so damn much of it, because this is my new most favorite desert EVER! I made carmel sauce!! Whoot!

So everything was all ready at the same time, because I had to cool the bread first, so that was out of the oven hours before dinner, and well, you can make a salad earlier in the day and so really the only thing that was cooking was the soup... but that's not the point. I was able to field a three course meal with home-made bread!

It is probably the most cooking I've ever done in a day.

So how is that Danish coming along?

That alone has to be the number one question I am asked.

It has beaten out "Did you find gold?" and "When will you finish your dissertation?" Which shocked me until I realized that most of the people I talk to have already asked me the first and have been told to never ask me the second.

So how is that Danish coming along?

Remarkably, I seem to be picking up some of it as I go. I certainly do not speak it. Oh, no, not at all. However I am spending more time answering questions posed in Danish - correctly. Conversations that used to go like this (italics mean in Danish):

Dane: And how are you today?
Me: No, thanks, I'll have cheese.

Now are more likely to go like this:
Phone rings, I answer...
Dane: This is Anna Jensen, can I speak to the Danish boy?
Me: Oh, he's not here right now, he's at work.
Dane: Do you have his mobile phone number?
Me: Sure it's ###.
Dane: Thanks for that, good bye.
Me: Bye!

It's rather funny when I'll have one of these conversations and then suddenly the Dane realizes I'm not actually speaking Danish. There is usually a pause and then the question Do you not speak Danish?

Sometimes, however, I still have the cheese conversation.

How many books have YOU read!?

Snagged this lovely one off of my friend's blog Words... what do they all mean? and I must say, I am not the average adult. In fact, I've read so much that I think there must be some average adults who have never read ANY of these books.

Anyway, on we go...

Apparently The Big Read thinks that the average adult has only read six of the top 100 books on their list.


1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen Gah.
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte My mom read this to me... I don't remember much of it. I should re-read it.
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible Yeah yeah, I'll get to it...
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens I hate Dickens.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare (ALL OF IT?? ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME HERE?? I think for the number of times I've read Hamlet, MacBeth and the number of scenes I've acted out of the complete works, I should get a little credit.)
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens (Gah, there he is again.... I've seen the mini-series, does that count?)
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh (Is there a Brideshead: the first meeting?)
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame I can't believe I haven't read this. Well, at least I finally read Watership Down last year.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens (you know, I really hate this man)
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis I don't care about the latent christianity any more than I care about the latent homosexuality in LOTR, they are damn fun books for kids either way... Except for the Last Battle. That one still creeps me out. WHAT ABOUT SUSAN!?!
34 Emma - Jane Austen (seen the movie and I have had ENOUGH of Jane Austen)
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (Um, isn't that considered one of the Chronicles?)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres OMG! I just read this and it's AMAZING! Screw the movie, READ THE BOOK!!!
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell Again, how did I miss reading this book?
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Seriously? The NEA wants me to read this book??
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving Frustratingly I think this book is on my bookshelf in DANISH
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan Dude, I SOBBED at this movie...
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel If I had a nickel for every time someone has told me to read this book...
52 Dune - Frank Herbert Gets better if you can make it past page 30... Kinda like Fellowship of the Ring.
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens I want the two weeks of my life I spent forcing myself through this book in Mrs. Willerts class BACK!
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley Not as good as 1984.
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon My sister has this book. It's not so much that I deeply desire reading it... but that it's a forgone conclusion that I will this Christmas when I get bored.
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov I've started this book so many times. I really ought to try to finish it.
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (I feel I know this book)
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas Almost read this book this summer. Read Capt. Correlli instead.
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett This was my favorite book when I was young.
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt Started but didn't finish when the owner of the book up and moved and took it with her.
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens For a person who hates Dickens, I sure have read a lot of his dribble.
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle I haven't read ALL of them, but A LOT of them.
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad Apocalypse Now was better.
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery The Danish Boy gave this to me. Odd choice of book to give to your girlfriend, yes/no?
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams Glad to see this on there. Makes me feel better about missing Wind in the Willows.
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute It started so PROMISINGLY - Bataan Death March! Suicidal generals (who die in freak shampooing accidents, doncha know, and if you don't... well, you had to have been there.)
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare FINALLY a Shakespeare I can bold.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Dude, I've read 46 of these. Forty Six. I'm amazingly well read, it seems. And they didn't even mention many of my favorite authors. I can't believe American Gods by Neil Gaiman isn't on here. It is one of those books I'd bring to a deserted island! I'd also bring Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett too.

How much do you like quizzes, archaeogoddess?

A) A lot.
B) No, really, I mean a lot.
C) It may possibly be a congenital defect, I like them so much.
D) Yes, I *would* totally marry them.

Here's a few that were rather fun!

What Kind of Wine Are You? You Are Sauvignon Blanc

Engaging and energetic, you have a lot to offer the world - most of it they've never seen anywhere else! You are the type of person who carves your own path in life... and you invite everyone else to come along. The only thing predictable about you is that you could have anything up your sleeve. You're all about sampling all of life's experiences. Both the savory and unsavory ones. Deep down you are: Laid back and young at heart Your partying style: Anything goes... seriously! Your company is enjoyed best with: Smoked meats or spicy food

What Kind of Wine Are You?

And while we're doing food quizzes...

What Condiment Are You? You Are Salsa

You are an extremely outgoing and vivacious person. You are quite tolerant and open minded. You rather accept people than judge them. Adventurous and unpredictable, you have the reputation of a daredevil. Your taste in food leans toward very spicy and exotic dishes. Whether it's thai food or an extra spicy mexican meal, you're into the hot flavors. You get along with hot sauce personalities. Everyone else, not so much.

What Condiment Are You?

I don't know that I'd agree that I don't get along with other people. I seem to get along with just about everyone. But then, I also think that salsa can go with just about anything.

What archaeology?

You probably want to hear about what I'm doing on my dig.

Um. We didn't find the tombs we thought we'd find. We found walls where we did NOT expect to find walls going off in directions we did not expect. And overall we are confused as to the purpose of the... well, it can only be described as a pile of rocks, that turned up in the square where a wall SHOULD have been. No, the pile of rocks is NOT the missing wall.

I'm having a blast! I love the consternation.

But that's not why I'm blogging. I'm blogging because I just discovered that a new show (on Fox, not Sci-Fi like I have told some) will includes as a co-star a delightful young man that I went to high school with - Enver Gjokaj! WHOOT!

And on a completely random note... as I *love* to take quizes, I took one about baby names and this is what it said. Yeah, okay.

You Like Names that Are Retro and Fashionable

You like names that are from the past but becoming modern again. Names with a strong history are very appealing to you. You're a big believer in giving children very adult sounding names. You're not a fan of nicknames or newfangled spellings. Some female names you might like: Audrey, Emma, Fiona, Georgia, Isabelle, Naomi, Rosemary, and Veronica Some male names you might like: Brendan, Colin, Ethan, Jared, Kenneth, Martin, and Nathaniel

What Kind of Names Do You Like?

True Grit

Okay, I obviously suck at keeping this thing up to date. When did I got to London? Oh yes, MARCH. Have I posted about it? NO. Am I going to? Sort of.

SORT OF?!

Yeah, only sort of, because I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off (yes, I'm bouncing off of walls and everything) trying to finish up some wedding stuff and getting ready for digging stuff and sorting out other odds and ends that I need to do. This includes applying for a health insurance reimbursement. HA! I know, why bother? Well, as I'm constantly telling Danish Boy, "if you don't try you are guaranteed to not get anything, but if you try, you just might win." So now I have to fill out forms and fax the whole lot off in order hold up to my own saying.

Anyway, London. I love London. I love all of England, but I particularly love London. To me, London makes sense in a way few other cities do. When you see something odd in London, you think to yourself, "oh, of course!" and it seems the most natural thing in the world. I am also a whiz on the London Underground. I need a map, of course, but I get how it all works. I like tube stations and I like minding the gap and I like the whooshing noise the train makes as it zips along. Danish Boy likes London because if he takes me, he doesn't have to think at all for the entire trip. He just goes along, enjoying the sights and the food and takes pictures. The only thing that slightly bothers him, and by slightly bothers I mean "makes him laugh quietly to himself about the absurdity of his girlfriend" is that I am highly amused by odd things and then I MUST take a picture of them.
This is the result. It's a sand box, for road maintenance to keep sand in for when it is cold and the roads and sidewalks may be icy. They come along with shovels and scoop the sand out of the box and spread it around on the ground to keep pedestrians and cars from sliding all over the place. In most of the other places in the world, the sand is in barrels or tubs that have little basic wooden cradles to keep them at an angle suitable for ease of shoveling. But in London.... oh no, they have to be rather nice little boxes. Additionally, it is not "sand," it is grit.

True grit.

If we are what we eat... what the hell are you saying about me?

I was going to write about London. But I seem to not have the right photo. Thus, I am showing you instead a picture of the American food section of our local supermarket. The Mexican food section has tacos, the Asian section has Thai, Curry, and Sushi, the Italian section has spagetti, and Americans have... Budweiser, marshmallows, and Oreo cookies.

If a stores foreign food section reflects what the locals think foreigners eat what does that say about the locals? Next time you are in a foreign food section, take a moment to think about our stereotypes. Meanwhile, I am going to keep laughing at the Danes. Marshmallows? Are you kidding me?

I am remiss.

I am completely remiss in writing. It's just been a bit busy these last few weeks. I'll give you a taste now and hopefully (cross your fingers, but for the love of god don't hold your breath) I'll write an extended post on some of these subjects later.

First to happen was a lightning weekend trip to London. I have gotten my passport stamped and I am visa-ed up for another three months. I finally got to see the Tower of London and the Museum of London, meaning that I am extraordinarily happy and also mad, since now I need to think of something else I need to see in order to have a good excuse to go back ASAP. I love London.

Dissertation update: It will not be done this spring. I'm going to try to have it done in November, when I have to go to Boston for ASOR. Maybe I can combine the trip with defending and filing. I'll walk next spring.

I did just turn in a chapter and while I'm waiting for feedback I took some time off to get some other things done around the house that I've been putting off. Like folding clothes and some cleaning. I am pleased to see that the Danish boy is not just wearing the same three tee shirts again and again and I now have a full complement of socks. We also can now see the living room table, I can see parts of my desk and you can almost walk through the office. This is an improvement, you used to not be able to walk through the office at all. You had to hop, duck and weave.

I wrote up some scholarship applications and sent them off. Not much to say about that but I hope I get them. I am not known for my grant procuring abilities and it'd be nice to get awarded for an application I actually did instead of the kind the schools give out because they know you need it. Although, any money of any kind from anyone would be appreciated.

I have finally finished making what seems to be the final proof of my wedding invitation. I printed it out and glued one up for my dad, who needs a copy to give to his boss in order to get the time off (yes, he might have to provide his own death certificate if he dies so that he can get the day off to go to his own funeral). I was admiring my handiwork when I discovered I'd misspelled my own last name. Curses. Peeling paper that you have just glued is a pain in the butt, peeling paper that you have let the glue dry on is a pain beyond words. Spelling fixed, it may be possible that I will print and assemble invitations this week, before my chapter revisions come in and I am driven back to work.

Meanwhile the newest and happiest news is:

The Danish boy and I have bought a new car! "New" being relative, since it's a 1988 Volvo. I love it. It makes me happy. I am again driving a tank (the worlds safest tank) and swear the car is happy too. It's a family car, which means that when we do have a family to put in it, we'll be ready! Actually, since we'll have to put my family in it in July, it's not an obscene purchase. We'll be selling the other Volvo, which is a total pain in my ass, ASAP. We may actually make money on this trade, because the Volvo we're selling is worth more than the one we bought. But since the one we bought is what we need in a car and the other one is NOT, it makes lovely sense, really.

Don't read this if you don't like stories about vomit!

Last night was a fairly standard one, where no one gets much sleep for various reasons. But for me there was about 10 minutes of heightened horribleness that will be long remembered.

Unable to sleep I had gone and parked myself on the couch. Saturday nights in Denmark are notorious for bad American Movies, last night was no exception. I watched Phantoms - which is a TERRIBLE movie. Save yourself two hours of your life, don't watch it. It's so terrible that even I, who jump at loud noises and still have nightmares about Resident Evil (don't ask), was not in the least bit scared by this movie.

But that is not the point. I'd gotten very tired and slid very far down on the couch. I really should have gotten up at that point and gone to bed, but lets not dwell on my little mistakes and instead focus on the big one.

I was thirsty, there was a full glass of water, I attempted to drink it whilst lying down. Fatal error, I inhaled it. A lot of it.

I don't care who developed the human throat (this is a VERY GOOD proof AGAINST intelligent design) but having the windpipe attach to the esophagus is a BAD idea.

As I was desperately trying to suck air into my lungs and cough up the water (which is what normally happens when you inhale a BIT of water) my diaphragm went into action. Convulsions occur in order to force that water up and out - putting undue pressure on my stomach as well as my lungs. Then as water begins to come up and out, it triggers the gag reflex and the next thing you know, you are not trying to breathe, you are trying to stop vomiting all over yourself. And the blankets. And the couch. In the movies, people who have just been rescued from drowning vomit up all the water they got in their lungs. Apparently they haven't eaten within the last 24 hours.

Unlike the stomach flu where you get some sort of warning (nausea, over abundance of saliva) you get none from almost drowning. My train of thought went something like: "Gak! Can't breathe! Don't panic! Don't WOW WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STOP THAT!"

At which point I jumped up, opened the door of the living room, ran (with all the blankets, who've had better nights) across the dining room, opened the door to the hallway, took two steps, opened the door to the bathroom, dumped the blankets in the shower and leaned over the toilet - just as I finished the spasmodic vomiting and began to breathe normally again.

As vomiting experiences go, it wasn't that bad. Like the times I've been violently ill after eating pickles, it was pretty much vomit-and-go! No nasty side affects and you can go right back into the kitchen for a glass of water. I recommend it over the stomach flu, where you spend hours draped over the toilet feeling horrible, or alcohol poisoning which would be vomit-and-go, except that you pay for it later.

So I leave you with an important reminder: Remember to sit up before taking a drink! It could save your life, or certainly your upholstery.

Dumb people

I really really love news stories like this. Because stupid people are FUNNY!

I think it may be Spring

Although the last time I said that it snowed only a few hours later. But the daffodils are coming up, small tweeting birds have taken up residence in the shopping carts and...

What?

Yeah, so I go shopping today and as I walk by the line of shopping carts chained to the retaining wall and I realized that they were filled with little tweeting birds. Mostly you find these sorts of birds hanging out in shrubs and hedges. But apparently we have slacker birds here, who hang out in front of supermarkets, messing with the carts and whistling at the cute chicks that go by.

Meanwhile we have us a storm here that must be trying out for the Big Bad Wolf because if I doesn't blow a couple of tiles off the old factory down the street, I'll be very surprised. This is where I am very glad that most of our power lines run underneath the street, because just like the house in which I grew up, this is an all electrical establishment. Were the power to go out, I'd be sitting in the dark, in the cold, with no way of heating or cooking anything.

Every now and then the wind actually blows a hole in the clouds and you see blue sky for a second. Well, it's either that or a blue house flying through the air. I would not be that surprised, no I would not.

And now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll try to stay away from the windows for a while.

I get the whole free speech thing...

but sometimes I wonder if people do it just to create a reaction.

So a while back there was the Mohammed Cartoon Crisis. Everyone has heard about it by now. If you haven't, you've lived under a rock because it was all over the news. The creator of one of the most famous cartoons (the one with the bomb in Mohammed's turban) had received death threats. Police in Denmark tracked the threats to a group of Muslims living in Denmark. Then yesterday they arrested them. The DB had a heck of a time getting in to work, seeing how there were lots of other news organizations hanging around and taking pictures, interviewing people and interfering with the security people and the police who were checking the id of everyone trying to get inside. The DB was very glad he got his photo id card Tuesday.

In a show of solidarity, a number of newspapers decided to YET AGAIN reprint the cartoons. And make big statements about free speech. As expected this set off a lot of other angry people, who are ticked off that the newspapers, having offended a huge population of the planet, would do so AGAIN, just because they can.

I support freedom of speech, but I also think that there should be a measure of social responsibility involved (it's that whole "fire" in crowded theater thing). It reminds me of the scene in Die Hard: With a Vengeance - where McClane is standing in Harlem with an "I hate Niggers" sign around his neck. Sure, a man has a right to go to Harlem and wear that sign, it's his right to freedom of speech, but if he gets the crap kicked out of him, or shot... well, that'll teach him.

I applaud people who stand up and say things that need to be said, even if they are unpopular and sometimes suicidal. But I'm a lot less sympathetic to those who say things for the purpose of creating conflict, fostering negative dialogue, and hurting people's feelings. This is why bullying is looked down on (hey, it's only words, why don't we just explain to the bullied that the bullies are just practicing their right to freedom of speech and they shouldn't let it get them down) and we have "hate mongering" and "sexual harassment" - all of which are ways of using words that are hurtful and in some cases, prosecutable.

Words hurt, and while we have the right to say what we want, we should also think about what we are trying to say and what impact that may have on those around us.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?

So Friday morning was a pretty normal day in the life of the archaeogoddess. I had to drive in to Århus to get at some hefty encyclopedias (what IS the plural of encyclopedia, encyclopedias sounds stupid... what about encyclopediae?) and I really had only three things on my mind.. which I was planning on posting under the title: "What ever happened to..."

What ever happened to trash compacters as the next big thing in kitchen appliances? I remember, vaguely, hearing this was the case and, way back when I was small(er), I knew someone who had one. The name escapes me at the moment. I remember getting in trouble for repeatedly pushing the button and possibly for also throwing things away just so that I could repeatedly pushing the button and eventually I was told I was not, under pain of death, to touch the damn button again! But that's it. Today, no one I know has one. And it would be a handy thing to have. Keep you from jumping up and down on the trash, in order to pack more in. Especially seeing how my dad has to go out and get into my family's trash-trailer and leap about like a lunatic. I feel it is a rather dangerous pastime my father has undertaken at his age. Bring back the trash compacter!

What ever happened to all of my highlighters? I know I had them around somewhere... Damn, this one is dead too! I swear there is an office elf somewhere eating my highlighters and sucking other ones dry.

What ever happened to my gas milage? Or gas kilometerage (awkward!)? I got 5 km to the liter on the way into Århus! That's less than 12 miles to the gallon - about right for the '72 Chevelle, but not a mid-90's Volvo!?

Funny story about that last one. I drove the Volvo in and then met up with the Danish Boy for some Mexican food (ah, yeah!) and we swapped cars for the drive home. I love my VW Lupo! And then I played the "don't lose the DB" game - which is funny because the DB THINKS he's driving so nicely that I won't lose him, but it takes a bit of weaving and cutting in front of people to stay behind him. (I mean, if he was going to be really nice and easy to follow he could start by GOING THE SPEED LIMIT!) Anyway, I caught him at a red light - and as he gunned it through the intersection I noticed a crazy bunch of liquid pouring out of the back of the car. And then there was a VERY strong smell of gasoline. Now, we'd thought we may have had a leak, because we could smell gas fairly strongly at times, but there was never any puddle where we parked. This is because we forgot rule #1 of gasoline - it vaporizes at a crazy low temperature. So I speed up and tail my dear boyfriend, staring intently at the back of the car. Every acceleration, every curve, every time he shifted, more liquid came pouring out of the car, instantly turning to a misty vapor that was then sucked into my air system. High on gas fumes, I called the DB (disclosure: the archaeogodess does not condone calling while driving - unless it is an emergency, get off the damn phone and drive, people!) and let him know what was up. There was much swearing. We sent the car in for it's 6 month check-up with a "please look at the gas leak" caution, but what is really irking to the DB is that he filled up the tank on Thursday for me. We'd used or lost half a tank (i.e. $50) and would now probably lose the other half when they pump the gas out in order to inspect the tank.

I did have a very good time in Århus, what with the eating and the being out and about, and we probably wouldn't have discovered the leak otherwise, but the DB is right in thinking that we could have just saved ourselves the trip and run up and down Main Street Ebeltoft throwing 20 kroner ($4) coins at people instead. It would have been cheaper.

What if...

...the Danes got to vote in the primaries? Who would they vote for? (I know, you've been loosing sleep over this very issue.) Well Søndagsavisen has answered our cries - over 40% for Hillary, Obama was close behind her with 34.5%, with McCain trailing a distant third at just under 4% and last but not least, Huckabee with less than 1% of the vote. (No, I don't know how many people they asked. Geez.)

What does it all mean? Not much, I thought it was rather funny. If you read Slate, you get the feeling all of Europe is for Obama. But not Denmark. Personally I think it is because Hillary is so very much more Danish than Obama. Yeah, she looks more Danish, but I mean that Obama brings a message of hope and promise, two things Danes don't really believe in. Pragmatic, that is a good word for the Danes, and Hillary has that in spades.

So really, what Republicans need to be very worried about is not illegal Mexican immigrants sneaking their way into the voting booths, but Danes.

Things that make the archaeogoddess not happy...

Okay, so I expect a certain bit of ridiculousness from the media. The ongoing "surprise" at ANYTHING. The making mountains of molehills. The jumping to conclusions. And after landing neck deep in it, the lack of apologizing. But sometimes I am quite amazed at the biases in the media that are so blatant that I have to gape.

Take CNN this morning. I check to see if there is anything I missed over the last 24 hours. And I see the following:
Suicide blast in Pakistan kills 4.
Female bomber kills 8 in Columbo.
Lebanese Army: Israel kills citizen.

But the BREAKING NEWS, so big that they have no picture, but instead a huge yellow box with "breaking news" written inside:
Three dead in Israel blast.

If you die in a suicide blast in Israel, you are apparently breaking news, even if MORE PEOPLE DIE IN OTHER SUICIDE BLASTS ANYWHERE ELSE.

Really, the blast in Pakistan should be more important news, because it shows how Pakistan is falling apart. A female suicide bomber in Sri Lanka? She killed EIGHT!? That's a high death count and it looks as if that country is falling apart too, it has got to be more important news. And Israel may have killed a Lebanese citizen... okay, this is actually not really news, because they do it quite frequently. In fact they did it quite a lot the other summer. And don't get me started on the number of Palestinian bystanders that get taken out all the time. (But then Israel doesn't consider Palestinian bystanders to be innocent, no more than Palestinians consider any Israeli to be a non-combatant.)

But OH NO, we have BREAKING NEWS here. Why? Is it because it may show that the peace process is stalled (note: it has been dead for some time now) and Bush's desperate last ditch effort (too little, too late) for a more positive legacy has failed (what, was he freakin' kidding me)? Or is it because we are so tied up with Israel and the importance of Israel that their citizens count as more important that the citizens of every other nation on the planet, except our own, and thus are more newsworthy?

Can you tell I'm jaded?

Someone take me to Vegas...

and sit as far away from me as possible. Not only has the Fed lowered interest rates twice in a week, which "shocks" journalists everywhere, but Giuliani doesn't even make it to the New York primary. (It's very good that he tanked out, not only because he would have made a lousy president, but I CANNOT spell his name.) Then, not long after I finished my last post the other day, complaining about the lack of snow - then it SNOWED. Not for very long and not very much and it didn't stick around, but still snow.

The weather here is playing with my mind. Sun, cloudy, SNOW, sun, cloudy, SNOW! Enough - pick one and go with it! And no more damn wind. I'm sick of the wind.

In the end, since I seem to bring the opposite of what I am thinking/wanting - if you just bet against me, you'll probably win every time.

How to make an archaeogoddess happy in the off season

It's very simple.

1) Start with sun. There must be sun. The archaeogoddess is suffering from lack of vitamin D.

2) Second, there must be cookies. This is how I fell to the dark side. I heard there were cookies.

3) Then there must be a reason to go out and drive around. The archaeogoddess loves to drive. Especially if there is some great pop music to bop to.*

4) Send her out on a task that involves going to the hardware store.

I love hardware stores. I love the smell of nails, that tangy iron smell (I hear blood smells the same, anyone?). I love how hardware stores are always in a large building that has very warm spots and very cold spots (it is ALWAYS cold by the nails). I love all the stuff that I can touch and feel and imagine using. "Hey, I wonder if I should re-caulk my windows!" I love the lumber section, the paint section, and the gardening section. My favorite hardware store, now long gone, was in downtown Sutter Creek. It was in an old gold rush era building, probably had always been a hardware store (now it's antique furniture, which isn't so bad, actually). It had old creaky floors and crumbling stone walls. It was always cold, even on the hottest days of summer. There was a very scary basement - a big hole in the floor that was dark and had a dank draft oozing up the rickety stairs. You couldn't have given me enough chocolate in the world to make me go down there. There was always dust in the air, part sawdust and part antiquity, that had the most fantastic smell. There was a large scale for weighing the nails. I used to pull on it to see how strong I was or to see if I could hold it at 5 pounds without wiggling. I remember going in with my dad several times and I loved to stop by for Christmas Open House (they always had cider). Unlike automotive stores, where I feel as if I'm trespassing or unwelcome, hardware stores never felt particularly sexist. Maybe it's the gardening section, but women in hardware stores is not a sign of the approaching apocalypse. Alas, today, all I needed were mouse and rat traps (though if the Danish boy had just brought me a sample of their feces I would know which we actually needed). Perhaps tomorrow he'll need something else!

*The archeogoddess normally likes heavier music that includes yelling and will induce steering wheel thumping, but happy pop is great for short trips.

"Maybe if you give them some petty cash they won't notice the recession!"

Well, I was wrong about the rates. But anyone who is still thinking that we aren't in a recession already is an idiot. Why do I keep seeing all these reports: are you ready for a recession, is a recession inevitable, will we end up in a recession? The answers are: no, because if we were ready, it wouldn't be a recession, would it? Yup. And we're already in a recession, dumba$$.

And would people stop blaming the various government parties for the recession? It was the bad loans that tipped us all in. There could have been more oversight, or the banks could have stopped giving money away so easily. It's like the dot-com crash, not government induced, idiot induced!

Meanwhile, I had the stomach flu, which was awful in all kinds of ways. The Danish boy was phenomenal, making up batches of re-hydration fluid, peeling apples and boiling up cups of beef bouillon - while still working +12 hour shifts driving the taxi at night.

We then had to shift from the night schedule we have been on to the day shift. This was very painful, as I'm getting over the flu, I have a hard time determining when I'm going to sleep and when I'm not. However, it looks as if we may have succeeded. Alas, here I am at 7 am (I've been up for several hours now) and the sun hasn't risen, the wind may blow down the house and the day is not looking so hot. The weather here has been atrocious. Wind wind and more wind. No snow. Two winters ago we got blanketed and I don't remember so much wind. I guess global warming has robbed me of my snowy winter, this weather feels more like California in February than what one expects from northern Europe. However, it is getting noticeably lighter earlier and staying light for later. This is wonderful. Now if we only would have less cloud cover and less wind, people may actually have a chance at getting some vitamin D.

The dissertation continues and we aren't going to talk about it any more. Because we hates it. It is not precious.

The wedding plans also continue... at a snails pace. There are some rather large financial concerns that must be squared away before we proceed. At this point I am in no hurry. It's not going to be a fancy affair, there will be no frills or favors, and I will probably wear a nice sun dress and flip-flops, so the amazing pressure that normally surrounds a wedding is lacking. Etiquette is out the window - it's not so much a wedding as a casual party. Thankfully!

And on a completely random note - why do none of my cookbooks include a PLAIN oatmeal cookie recipe? I hate dates (unless they are stuffed with cheese and baked) and I don't have chocolate chips. Yes, I am sure somewhere in this god-forsaken country there are chocolate chips, but seeing how it's taken me five years to find the one store that sometimes sells ricotta cheese, I may never find chocolate chips. I also don't want to put all kinds of spices into them. I just want some nice, plain, oatmeal cookies. Is it so much to ask?

Some predictions based on nothing more than my gut...

Some official gut based predictions. Because although I told a friend just a day or two ago that the markets were going to take a dive, I doubt anyone else believes me. It's really hard to say "i told you so" if you have no proof. Thus I am making some predictions. And if I'm wrong then I get to write about how surprised I was and what went wrong. My god, if everything I predict is wrong - I could get a job at CNN! If I can think of someone to blame, indicating that I wasn't wrong, but misinformed and possibly manipulated in some way, I could work for FOX!

Prediction #1: I think interest rates will rise (so that banks will be able a quicker return from lenders and will feel more confident about lending - fewer people can afford the higher interest rates and so only those who have stable incomes will be able to get loans).

Prediction #2: McCain will win the primarys and choose Romney as his running mate.

Prediction #3: Hillary will get the nom, but she will NOT pick Obama to be her running mate, or Edwards, but maybe Bill Richardson.

An amazingly long rant on politics and economy... my apologies

I am sick and tired of listening to the surprised media. It seems the major news being reported always comes as a shock to everyone from the journalists to the people they’re interviewing.

The biggest surprise - on on-going surprise - is the primary season. No matter who won what, the results of the vote seems to be this huge shock to everyone. “Whoa! Hillary won! Who’d a seen that coming?” “Whoa! Obama won! Who’d a seen that?” “My god, someone else won some other state in that other party! Whoa!”

My god, you would think that it never occurred to the press that SOMEONE would win. And the shock over the polls should stop, right now. Anyone remember, “Dewey wins”? Polls can be wrong. Gasp! News at 11!

It was funny the first time the talking heads on various news networks hashed out their surprise, but it’s gone on too long. The only reason people are surprised at the results is because they had pre-conceived notions and they were wrong. Perhaps, it is time to DROP the notions, people, you will discover INTEREST rather than SURPISE at the results of each new primary to be MUCH MORE USEFUL WHEN REPORTING THE NEWS.

Most annoying is the “oh-my-god-Hillary-is-winning-how-is-she-doing-this.” Um, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, because more people have voted for her so far? Or maybe I’m just confused at how the voting process works. I would like the press to stop trying to figure out her campaign strategy - that’s Obama’s people’s job, and try reporting on the various platforms that the candidates are offering. Why is the media so surprised that more women voted for Hillary after she got misty-eyed (sorry, I’ve seen the footage, that is NOT crying)? That’s the only footage they ran for two days!! If I were on Obama’s team I’d be suing the stations for all that free air-time. And then the media has the audacity to say that people aren’t voting on the issues, but on personality. Gee, when was the last time they reported on the issues? Remember the CNN poll - 96% of the viewers wanted to see more reporting on the issues. Now that is a poll I would trust.

The second big surprise that I saw coming for miles away was the downturn of the economy. People on this side of the pond have had to listen to me tell them, the end is coming, but I was ignored. Typical. Just because a girl hates studying economics and still can’t quite figure out the Fed, they think she can’t predict recessions.

You might be about to see a recession if:
1) you find yourself ordering water instead of soda to drink with your meal.
2) the bank had promised you that you would have no problems getting a loan, but suddenly you are turned down with vague excuses.
3) the government tries to push emergency measures through that give loans or money away AGAINST the will of the banks.

Banks and truck drivers are probably the best indicators of the economy. But not in the way you may think. Banks are out to make money and will do their damnedest to make sure of it. Why do they have all those lovely fees? So when banks give out loans to anyone with a pulse, you know they are confident. When suddenly they stop, it’s because they’ve freaked out. Now they don’t want to part with their money. And since it is YOUR money, you should be afraid. It’s time to button down the hatches, folks. The banks have closed for business. The government, bless them, trying to make the banks give us money… it’s counterintuitive. Banks are telling us, it is time to keep your money, don’t spend. Meanwhile the government is saying, here have some money, spend it, it will help the economy. But does it really? You are going to spend it on heat, gas, and food (which is almost like spending it on gas). You are not going to invest it, you are not going to buy something very large with monthly payments attached (like you could get a loan at this point). What the government is hoping is to pretend to be the good guy, hey and maybe $600 will help you keep that McMansion (yeah, right), until the economy rights itself. To do that, the people who over extended themselves are going to be sacrificed. The mortgage companies and the banks are going to have to keep swallowing the bankruptcies until people are back to living within their means, and that also means, don’t expect to qualify for a loan anytime soon. The bank can’t afford the risk. And frankly, neither can you!

Truck drivers are very aware of the price of gas. Their livelihood depends on it. So as the cost of gas goes up, they become much more conservative with their cash. Go to a truck stop. See what they are eating. Is it just cups and cups of coffee, finished off by one donut? We’re screwed. A big plate of food, however, means gas prices are down. I wonder how prostitution is affected? Are men more likely or less likely to visit prostitutes during economic downspins? Hmmm.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world has been running around for the last few months on a false high. “Oh, the US dollar is down! Look at all the money we have!!” As if some how the economies of the world are not all connected. Sorry folks, we’ll be taking you down soon enough. Already I hear the stocks are dropping. No surprise I’m afraid. As Americans stop spending or lending, things are going to get less pretty everywhere else. Probably not so bad, because the first thing that happens is that banks stop lending. And that stops the bubble from getting any bigger. But if you have overextended yourself, now is NOT a good time for you.

And if you think I’m sitting around all smug like, I’m afraid to disillusion you, but things are not so good here. The home equity that we thought was going to cover the apartment bills is suddenly no longer available. Instead we had to use our savings and credit to pay the bills. So now, to pay for the wedding, it looks like we’ll have to sell the car. But this is the car that saves us money on gas, so without the car, we can’t live in the countryside. So we’ll probably have to move back into the apartment, with roommates. Which will actually raise the amount of equity that we can use for bills.

Constancy...

There are certain constants in this life. I am not talking about death and taxes, because these days everyone is trying to cheat one or the other. But certain things will always be.

1) There is a bottle of soy sauce in the refrigerator.
2) Somewhere in your house, there are dried onions.

Your fridge may be empty except for those things, but damn it, you've got 'em.

Some people may be depressed by this. What about love? What about beauty?

Well love is fickle, and beauty is ephemeral, but soy sauce is FOREVER!

But Danish libraries on the other hand...

So the State Library at Århus has the world's suckiest search engine EVER. I have been trying to find the Reallexikon für Antike und Christetum for days now. I tried various spellings and all kinds of other things and then admitted defeat to my advisor. Who found it in the Copenhagen library. And suggest that I'm an idiot. So I tried again to find it in the Århus library. Still no go. But I'm an angry girl and I refuse to give in - so I tried by searching for one of the editors, who were listed on the Copenhagen library page and WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? There it was, in the Århus library. I cannot find it using the title, only the author. But as an encyclopedia, it doesn't really have authors. I mean, I found the Lexicon Iconographicum Mythologiae Classicae by title - what is the difference between the two? Not a goddamned thing except that one can be found searching for the title and the other CANNOT!!

Fucking goddamned library. I'm going to send an email. This needs to be fixed.

Librarians - superior humans all around...

It occurs to me that I have been extraordinarily spoiled while growing up. My mother is a librarian. This meant that I could get my hands on just about any book I wanted to read, quickly, and often for as long as I wanted. (Pst, if you are the child of a librarian, you don't have to pay late fines!) Now I thought that this was awesome, but I thought that the awesomeness of it was because she was my mother and loves me. Well, it is true, she is my mother and current research suggests that she loves me, but I did not quite realize the amazing amount of awesomeness that came from her being a librarian.

See, librarians are superior human beings. There is a great amount of evidence to support this.
1) The existence of L-Space and the librarian mastery of it. (Check wikipedia - they know it to be true!)
2) The following conversation I had with the on-line librarian at my university library:

Librarian: Hi!

aimguest50525423: Hi! I am currently doing research in another country. Before I left I had made a photocopy of an article, but seem to have not copied one page. Is there any way I can request that it be scanned and emailed to me?

Librarian: What was the name of the article?

aimguest50525423: "The Mildenhall Treasure: Roald Dahl's ultimate tale of the unexpected" in Antiquity 71 (1977) Issue 271 (Spring) - I need page 72! :-)

Librarian: I'll go get it and scan it. What's your email?

aimguest50525423: xxx@xxx.xxx - You are a saint! Many happy returns and a fantastic holiday to you!!

Librarian: Only a slight exaggeration. As long as it's on the shelf, we'll be all set. Happy holidays!

And low and behold it was done! LIbrarians are made of awesome.

You know you ought to go to bed when...

you decide that the best part of your dissertation is:

"the fort faced the full fury..."

I am sure I've heard it said that alliteration was for people who can't write. But frankly, I am not going for the Pulitzer here. I just want my damn degree.

See - I just can't help myself.

Italian cooking in Denmark

Did you know that there is a season for mozzarella? Neither did I. But there is. After going to a specialty store to get ricotta cheese (which can ONLY be purchased at specialty stores) I really should have asked if they had some sliced mozzarella - but foolish me, I thought you could get it sliced really easily elsewhere. After all, there are BAGS of pre-grated mozzarella, why not sliced? Thankfully, you can get little soft balls of the stuff in salt water. I just have to figure out how to slice it without crumbling it or slicing off my thumb.

I have come to hate my California Cooking cookbook with a passion. Although my lasagna recipe does not come from there, the author swarmingly insists that *buffalo mozzarella* is the best, and can be purchased at your local cheese specialty shop. My local cheese specialty shop is an hour drive away, you fucking pansy assed cocksucker! I was lucky to find the damn ricotta! The local gourmet store, specializing in wine, has some cheese, but it was these kind folks who informed me about the seasonality of mozzarella. Thankfully they had fennel seeds in a big bag in the back, or I’d have been lost. Cayenne powder and mace powder, however, do not exist anywhere outside of Italy or America.

On the other hand, unlike Israel, Denmark has plenty of pork, so I could make Italian sausage. No, they don’t have it pre-made. Unfortunately, Denmark is so ecologically friendly that the concept of a one-use lasagna dish is anathema. I’ll be using my roasting pan.

Then there was the small matter of tomato sauce. Tomato sauce is my nemesis. I could not find it in Israel. Here in Denmark, there is tomato sauce, but the can I grabbed out of the tomato sauce can basket was not tomato sauce, but peeled tomatoes. Let this be a lesson for cooks everywhere - double check the label. Thank god I have a hand blender! In less than 10 seconds I had sauce-like tomatoes. Then there was the incident where I defrosted the wrong package of meat. I blame the Danish Boy for this one. It is really hard to read his handwriting when the label is frozen into a fold in the object. What I read as “beef” turned out to be “beef and pork.” So this will be a very piggy lasagna.

As for side dishes, don’t make me laugh. I’m lucky to make one dish tonight, let alone another one. “Oh,” I hear you say, “but what about salad? That’s really easy!” Fuck you - there is no salad during winter! I could probably defrost some spinach, but I don’t think that is what was intended when they shredded and froze it. I could also pay exorbitantly for genetically modified salad imported by truck from Spain (frozen, then defrosted in the back room), but apart from tasting disgusting, I’m not so sure that it’s not healthier just to drink more orange juice (also imported and packed full of preservatives). We are pretty much down to root vegetables for the next few months. But I must say, parsley and celery root is very good when sautéed with carrots.

Don't leave me hangin'...

Sorry about the delay - threw out my back and have been laying in pain on soft surfaces for a few days.

So, the Danish Boy got an internship at Jyllands-Posten! Yes, that *would* be the newspaper that published the Muhammed cartoons. Apart from its amazing lack of tack, it is a good newspaper and, most importantly, means that I don't have to move to Copenhagen.

Yeah, well, that's where my priorities were. I love where I live, and yes, I would have gone to Copenhagen if I'd had to, but I like it so much better here in Ebeltoft (where the trees have turned wonderful colours - and then lost almost all their leaves to the amazingly strong wind). I get to stay in my nice apartment and we don't have to try and find an affordable closet in which to live.

Its always the weather...

One of everyone's favorite topics here in Denmark is the weather. Danes love to complain about it. Of course, if a non-Danes says something like, "the weather here sucks!" Danes will point out the glorious summers. When the non-Dane then says, "well, yeah, except for the glorious summers" the Danes retort, "except sometimes summer is only three days long."

You can't win a weather conversation with a Dane.

I find that the best I can do in a conversation about the weather is to say, "Danish weather is pretty bad, but it is a d@mn site better than Rhode Island weather." Rhode Islanders will be quick to point out that they have a very pretty fall, lots of colours on the leaves and a pleasant spring. But 4 weeks of habitable weather per year is HORRIFIC people! Admit it, RI, your weather sucks!

Denmark, on the other hand, more often than not, has lovely weather. The rainy summer of a few years ago aside. Summers, if not raining heavily, are heavenly, with crazy amounts of sun (18 hours or something) that lets you BBQ and enjoy the outdoors for weeks on end. (Yes, unless it's raining. I hear you, I hear you.)

Fall is fantastic (at the moment, but yes, I do know it could start raining at any time), crunchy leaves on the ground and wood smoke in the air and apple pies to be made. I wish the Danes didn't start setting up for Christmas already, but what can you do.

The build up to Christmas is actually fine, because Christmas around here is quite magical in my opinion. And as possibly my favorite holiday, I really enjoy all the traditions that make up Danish Christmas.

The time of the year that I hate, truly hate, is the three months after New Years. It's dark, it's cold, it's wet (either freezing snow or bone numbing rain) and there are no holidays to break up the horror of it all. Danes retreat inside their homes during this period and attempt to hibernate. This is the time of year that you can tell the Danes that their weather sucks and they will not object.

But then comes spring and we all breathe a sigh of relief.

So while I am enjoying the weather, the wood smoke and the apple pie, I am still a bit flumoxed. It's cold out. Really cold. And yet there are HUGE MOSQUITOS all over the place. I was pretty sure that mosquitos would go away when it's cold. I mean, all the birds flew south, the sun is barely up over the horizon, and I'm getting out my eggnog recipe and yet I still have mosquito bites!! They get in the house and then I have to chase them around and around before I go to bed. What's up with this?

On a different note, the Danish Boy has his "Panic Day" tomorrow. This is the day that all the newspapers/media organizations (that will be taking interns) begin the selection process. They start at 8 am and it's usually wrapped up by 11 am. I have one very stressed fiance on my hands. But by tomorrow it will be over, finally. We will know for sure if we have to move to Copenhagen or not (the odds are in favor of us moving, sigh).

Fingers crossed that he gets a good one!

So this is Sweden...

Last week the Danish Boy and I drove to Sweden. One of the best parts about doing this is *saying* "I drove to Sweden". But of course, if you know your Nordic current events, you happen to know that Denmark and Sweden built a bridge connecting them. And this is the bridge we drove across to get to the third nordic country I've been to. Finland, watch out!

So how is Sweden? Remarkably like Denmark, except where it's not.

Well, duh, you say. It is a different country.

Yes, but I expected it to be different. In the way that France is different from Germany. And Norway is VASTLY different from Denmark. Fjords, people, *fjords*!

So how is Sweden different ('cause you don't really want to know how it was the same - same is boring, different is cool)?
1) It costs about $50 to drive there and $50 to drive back. (For the bridge fee.)
2) There is a Swedish Kroner (they don't use the Euro) and it is worth less than a Danish Kroner and so it looks like you are spending a *fortune* on coffee, when really you are just spending *a lot*.
3) They took the idea of "city planning" to a whole new level. In a creepy good way.

Okay, that last one needs some explanation, but in a creepy good way. No, really.

So, in southern Sweden they are being overrun by ex-pat Danes who find living across the bridge cheaper than living in Copenghagen and all of those foreigners they keep letting in (Sweden has let in more Iraqis than any other non-Middle Eastern country and also are very flexable with their immigration laws). And they have to go somewhere. Enter the city planners. Sweden has a GREAT transportation system (and if the Danes don't agree, that's because you have a FANTASTIC transportation system too... take it from the Americans, we haven't yet figured out public transportation) - so instead of building ever expanding suburbia, they go a bit farther away from the town and set up a villiage. Connected by GREAT transportation. This villiage includes not only cute streets with the best sub-division tract-houses I've ever seen (each slightly different with YARDS) but centered around a SCHOOL and a COMMUNITY CENTER and, get this, a LIBRARY!

Now, I hate development. I hate tract-homes. I hate suburbia. But if I had money, I would move to one of these villiages in a heart beat.

Damn, I should have taken Swedish language classes when I had a chance.

Updates and things

The date is set for my wedding. I'm a little hesitant to post too much however since I got a rather creepy email from my ex, who seems to be cyber stalking me. However, after I realized that he had a facebook account, which meant that he might be able to view my facebook account, I blocked him and strangely he has not emailed since. Could be a strange coincidence.

However, let it be said that if I tell you: don't contact me, I'll contact you. And then a few weeks later you say: hey, I know I said I wouldn't contact you, but... AND THEN PROCEED TO EMAIL ME ONCE A WEEK FOR THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS, don't be all pissy because I don't email you back. And if you then at the end of this, email me that you googled me and have decided that there are not enough pictures of me online, and how are you supposed tosee me or keep up with my life now that I'm not emailing you information about it DON'T BE SURPRISED IF I BLOCK YOU FROM MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AND GET REALLY CREEPED OUT.

Good lord.

Anyway, we have a date and a location that includes food and housing for 70 people. And it occurred to me that as far as my American friends and family are concerned, this means that I am having a destination wedding. So I googled that, to see what was what in regards to destination weddings, but all I got was a lot of sites about getting married on a beach in the carribean. Which I am not doing. Oh well, this wasn't going to be a normal wedding anyway, half of the guests will have never met the other half and that includes the families of the bride and groom.

The dissertation goes as one would expect. Painfully, slowly and with the odd bit of bad excitement (oh, my god, the Risley Park lanx in the British Museum is a FAKE? Sh!t, I have to rewrite that bit now!). I printed it out the other day, so that I could read what I had written (bad plan) and it was rather substatial in it's single-spaced-ness. This is good. The more I write, the more room I have to edit and POSSIBLY the less I have to rewrite.

Cooking has come to an abrupt stop now that the computer is fixed and the dissertation awaits. The Danish Boy is distressed. He knew it wouldn't last forever, but he sure appreciated it while it did.

Cooking and other stuff

Having returned from the Near East, I can tell you not much has happened in the way of wedding plans. We did finally chose a date as well as *GASP* a time. We have a location, a minister, an organist and a saint (who achieved her sainthood upon agreeing to assist in all paperwork matters). That wraps up the ceremony. But the reception... ah, the reception. Then you have to start thinking about guest lists (very easy on my end) and location and food and location and drink and location. And at the end of it, it occurs to you that it would be cheaper to buy a house and hold a BYOB bar-b-que in the backyard.

Meanwhile, certain security elements in certain countries with which the US of A is VERY good friends with and I occasionally excavate in, broke the screen of my laptop, thus rendering it to a very advanced container of data which I cannot see. Which includes my dissertation. BUT, gentle reader(s), BEFORE YOU PANIC, of COURSE I backed up my data on various other media devices before going into that black night (known as Blank Blank Airport). No data has been lost. But a true companion of many a year has been unceremoniously shipped off to befuddle a Mac expert.

Which leads me to the actual title of my post: cooking. As I eagerly await the return of my Mac (or some semblance of said object), I have some time on my hands and I have spent it all cooking.

If you know what is good for you, you will NOT make any jokes about domesticity at this time. I don't clean floors, windows, clothes, I know how to butcher a human being and I bet I can hide what's left somewhere where no archaeologist will ever find it. Okay?

I am not attempting any great cooking plan, other than, "well, that sounds good, I'll try to make that" and then try it out on my ever patient DB. But this has led to some fantastic moments in cooking. I especially like salads. The presentation can be truly stunning and there is something wonderful about fresh veg. I am not yet giving up archaeology for the spoon, but if I ever need another career, I would not mind chef-ing. :-)

A different type of bravery

Ever wondered what would happen if you just let a hairdresser do what they wanted to with your hair? Okay, maybe not if you are a guy, but I bet the girls out there know what I'm talking about. Especially when you are feeling like you need something new, but aren't particularly brave enough to just say: cut it!

And then there is, are you brave enough to walk into a hairdresser in a foreign country where you don't actually know the language...

Weeeell, if you are brave enough to do the second, you have, by default, just done the first. Because if you don't know enough of said foreign language to do more than wave your hands helplessly at your hair and say "ugh" you have just given the hairdresser carte blanch.

And I now have very short hair.

At the end of this very entertaining experience, the hairdresser stepped back and said, happily, "Funky!" And I would have to concure. I look way cooler than I am.

If you are wondering what it looks like... all I'm going to say on the matter is... if I had a bit of pixie dust, I could prove the existence of faeries.

Now if you excuse me, I have hair up my nose...

Something to blog about

Well, despite the title of this blog, very little archaeology has been mentioned. This will probably continue because, well, intellectual property laws are tricky things and I don't want to blab about something only to discover A) I'm wrong and B) I've gone and spoiled the fun.

So what is there for me to blog about?

Well, everything else not related to archaeology, obviously, which is what I've been doing sporatically from the very beginning. I'm a dreadful blogger, as you've noticed, and if you are one of my friends you probably aren't surprised since I blog only slightly less frequently than I email and with more regularity than I call.

Enough already! I now have something to blog about and I hope that I'll keep up with it for a little while. (Excepting the month of August when I'll yet again be on excavation and nowhere near a computer.)

What is this? My impending nuptuals.

Again? Yes, again. See for those of you not in the know, I'm divorced and you think I'd have learned my lesson having "eloped" (long story there, not worth repeating) and having a second so-called "real" wedding. So again you would think, "well now, she's done it once, so this time should be easy, right?"

Ask people who have had several children. Is it really that much easier to squeeze out the second one? I doubt it.

But, unlike the last time, I'm actually looking forward to this one and am quite comfortable to let everyone know about how it is going. Hope this will interest some of my friends or any other random person who happens to be reading this.

The first hurtle to leap is the date. "What?" you say. "You have no date?" Well, duh, no. See we are carefree individuals who aren't tied down to conventions, like location, for very long. We perfer to see where the wind blows us, we lead facinating lives of... Okay, we are two people who can't plan very well long term. We're students, sue us. Since my fiance is an up and coming journalist, we will probably not know where we'll be for YEARS to come. And damn it we're not going to wait for the best moment because we'll be old and grey first.

So we need a date. Oh, and we need a budget. The fiance has mentioned that we can take a loan. This is not helpful. This leads one to start getting out of hand with cost, because once you dig a hole, what's to keep you from going deeper?

Conventional wisdom has it that the reception should be 50% of your budget. But it is really hard to nail one down without a date. And as more conventional wisdom has it, the cost of a venue and vendors will vary based on day. Grrrr.

Sigh, the first two big things we need to do seem to be the hardest.

Another overheard conversation...

Oh boy, you'd think that a book store would be a great place to overhear people talking about books and that learned conversations would dominate over idiocy, but that was a terrible assumption on my part.

Woman: What does GMT stand for?

Boy 1: I think Greenwich mean time.

Woman: So if it's noon GMT, what time is it in London?

(Some chatter about time zones and how they work. Best guess on time in London: 5 hours earlier. Though in their defense, I think they got confused and were trying to figure out what time it was here if the GMT was noon. In which case it would be correct. But the woman wanted to know what time it was in LONDON.)

Boy 2: It's like how my friend in Argentina is always like one hour ahead, even though it's on the west coast.

Boy 3: No... I don't think that's right. (Long pause) Isn't Argentina on the east coast? The west coast is Peru. Yeah?

(By the way, Argentina is 2 hours ahead, currently.)

Religious upheaval

Religious upheaval is not always a bad thing. Yeah, there was the Spanish Inquisition and we can blame our Puritan roots for "voluntary overtime" but right now, as you read this, there is a schism happening, and I think it's a good thing. The first link may not work because it's the New York Times, but the link from Slate will eventually take you there. Having been raised Episcopalian, liberal, and American, I must say I'm damn proud.

Quick recap in case you don't want to put the effort into reading the article or don't know the back story: the US Episcopalian Church (part of the world-wide Anglican Communion - sort of a religious federation) voted to put a woman in as Archbishop and also instated an openly gay bishop. The conservatives freaked out and whole churches turned from their diocees to Anglican diocees abroad for help. The British, who started the whole Anglican thing way back under Henry the VIII, try to use their influence to keep the other branches in line, but obviously that's not going to fly right now.

The big question is: will the Episcopalian church break off from the Anglican church? Hm.

Snow where?

Well, here in New England, they pride themselves on the amount of snow they get. Which is stupid if you talk to a person from the mid-West, where they get REAL snow or people from the warmer, sunnier states (like yours truely), who point out that the weather everywhere else is just better. But lately New Englanders have been a bit vexed because there has been no snow. Yeah, there was some last week that then melted and froze, turning the entire state of Rhode Island into a skating rink. (A bumpy skating rink.) So the question has been WHERE IS THE SNOW?

The answer is Denmark!

For everyone who doesn't actually read Danish, they've gotten 16-20 inches of snow in the last 24 hours. With drifts up to 3 feet (although in that picture I'm thinking 6 feet, but maybe its the house of a midget). And if you scroll down a bit to the box "Se også" (see also) and pick the gallery Sne over Danmark you get great pictures of snow over Denmark. Hey! Look you read Danish!

Anyway the point is, Denmark never gets that kind of snow. New England does. Thus, obviously, Denmark stole New Englands snow.

Six words or less, count 'em!

Okay, I'm an obsessed person. I loved the Wired article about a bunch of writers being asked to submit and entire story in 6 words or less. I keep telling people to read the stories... READ THEM! They're great! And as of course things go, I had to give it a try....

Suicide? No, my wife killed me.

Run! The end is here! The...

Apocalypse delayed: War is busy.
(alternative endings to the above story)
Pestilence has a cold.
Famine stopped for lunch.
Death took a holiday.

Go on, try it. You know you want to...

I thought it was funny...

Next time someone tells you to stick it "where the sun don't shine," you can reply, "Wasn't that in the Alps somewhere?"

Between mid-November and mid-February, Viganella, Italy was that little corner of the world where the sun just didn't shine. Until now.

For those of you who read Terry Pratchett, you already know that the other place the sun don't shine is a valley in Slice over near Lancre.

Does it count as irony if...

Strom Thurmond Jr. is handling the James Brown will?

The important quote from this article:
"An attorney handling Brown's will, Strom Thurmond Jr., asked the Aiken County judge for a restraining order against the children, saying they have interfered with the administration of the estate."

Oh...

Overheard in the dinning hall:

Boy: "Her parents totally couldn't accept me for the person I am."

Girl: "No, they didn't accept you because you're black."

Boy: "Oh, I just thought they didn't like me."

This odd conversation continued in which the following jems were overheard:

Boy: "Just tell me the name of the guy she's dating now."

Girl: "You should just think of it like a one-night stand and move on."

Google bombing

In case you don't know what it is, it's getting a whole lot of web-pages to link to each other through a specific name or phrase that is then missunderstood by the Google program and cause that name and web-page to bounce to the top of the google search engine. Or something like that. Google "google-bomb" if you want a better definition, I only tell it like I see it and I see the complexities of the internets about as good as a bat in a vaccuum. (Sonar needs air to work and a vaccuum ... nevermind.) So, that being said: Penn Jillette.

Well that's a GREAT reason!

"I want to have a baby, 'cause I get lonely. I get bored."

Overheard on the way home this evening. Providence, RI

Thoughts on the Judas gospel

As an archaeologist, people seem to think that I must have some strong feelings about the Gospel of Judas, which was recently published in part by National Geographic. At first I pointed out that I'm not a biblical scholar and the gospel was not excavated so I really don't have much to say about it. But having been asked numerous times now, I suppose I have to take a position. But it's not so easy as some may think. There is the whole ethical question.

What ethical question?

The gospel has a very questionable past and it smacks of black-market antiquities deals which archaeologists abhor. We make our livelihood by excavating things in situ and the black-market is the biggest threat to our jobs, let alone the destruction of sites eradicates the usefulness of most artifacts.

But note that I say "most" artifacts.

Yes, I may be an archaeologist, but I'd like to think that I'm also a realist. There are some things that are still useful even without archaeological context and texts are one of those things. The gospel can be dated without statigraphy and what is written is more important that the pottery that may have gone with it. GASP!

So do I think that the AIA and ASOR are correct in refusing to publish all unproven artifacts? Er. Lets not get into that right now, you were asking about the Gospel of Judas.

Is it is real? Yes. But, and it is a big BUT, it is not the actual writings of Judas Iscariot. Honestly people, when was he supposed to write a gospel? The man purportedly hung himself after Jesus was arrested, I doubt he stopped to dictate his memoirs. What we have here is a gnostic gospel written by an observant gnostic Christian in the spirit of Judas. What? you say. Yes, it has happened before - well obviously since the thing is over a thousand years old. The gnostics were an interesting group of Christians that felt that you could, in fact, not only understand God, but all of the characters involved in the Bible, through prayer and possibly several other mystical and now lost practices.

If you are curious, read E. Pagels "The Gnostic Gospels" available through Amazon and wherever such books are sold.

This of course raises a curious question, are any of the accepted gospels other "in-the-spirit-of-the-disciple X"? But that is another discussion all together and one for biblical scholars to debate. I am just a lowly archaeologist, digging in the dirt for her provenienced artifacts.

The 10 day forcast

I swear I may have to rethink this whole "living in the north by the sea" concept. The 10 day forcast for my little corner of Denmark is rain. Ten days of nothing but rain. And the temp will not get above 60`F, it will hover, instead, at about 57`. Ugh. I am starting to think longingly about the American southwest. Maybe a compromise, I'll go live in southern california where it is sunny and warm and I can finally get some decent Mexican food.