Saturday, February 02, 2008

How to make an archaeogoddess happy in the off season

It's very simple.

1) Start with sun. There must be sun. The archaeogoddess is suffering from lack of vitamin D.

2) Second, there must be cookies. This is how I fell to the dark side. I heard there were cookies.

3) Then there must be a reason to go out and drive around. The archaeogoddess loves to drive. Especially if there is some great pop music to bop to.*

4) Send her out on a task that involves going to the hardware store.

I love hardware stores. I love the smell of nails, that tangy iron smell (I hear blood smells the same, anyone?). I love how hardware stores are always in a large building that has very warm spots and very cold spots (it is ALWAYS cold by the nails). I love all the stuff that I can touch and feel and imagine using. "Hey, I wonder if I should re-caulk my windows!" I love the lumber section, the paint section, and the gardening section. My favorite hardware store, now long gone, was in downtown Sutter Creek. It was in an old gold rush era building, probably had always been a hardware store (now it's antique furniture, which isn't so bad, actually). It had old creaky floors and crumbling stone walls. It was always cold, even on the hottest days of summer. There was a very scary basement - a big hole in the floor that was dark and had a dank draft oozing up the rickety stairs. You couldn't have given me enough chocolate in the world to make me go down there. There was always dust in the air, part sawdust and part antiquity, that had the most fantastic smell. There was a large scale for weighing the nails. I used to pull on it to see how strong I was or to see if I could hold it at 5 pounds without wiggling. I remember going in with my dad several times and I loved to stop by for Christmas Open House (they always had cider). Unlike automotive stores, where I feel as if I'm trespassing or unwelcome, hardware stores never felt particularly sexist. Maybe it's the gardening section, but women in hardware stores is not a sign of the approaching apocalypse. Alas, today, all I needed were mouse and rat traps (though if the Danish boy had just brought me a sample of their feces I would know which we actually needed). Perhaps tomorrow he'll need something else!

*The archeogoddess normally likes heavier music that includes yelling and will induce steering wheel thumping, but happy pop is great for short trips.

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