Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I'm not blind... I just don't always look where I'm going...

Dudes, I totally almost walked into a tree on the way to the supermarket.

No joke!

I was walking along.... doo-dee doo-dee doo *TREE*!

And I gave it a good long look, 'cause you know, maybe it had stepped out in front of me without looking both ways and once it saw that I had the right of way, it being a sideWALK and all, it would politely retreat to the park.

Nope.  The tree stood resolutely in my path.

So I'm all, "look, man, I'm pregnant.  You might not be able to tell under this massive parka, which is probably why people look at me funny all the time.  I mean, you know, I'm all walking like a damn penguin but I have little skinny legs and then there's this huge parka and how are people gonna know, you know?  So I'm telling ya, I'm pregnant, and that means you gotta give me some space.  Or I'm a-gonna end up walking in the street and that's just crazy dangerous for a fat pregnant chick."

And I swear the tree proceeded to LOOM.

So I walked in the gutter.  Freakin' tree.  No respect.

See this?
This is a bunch of assholes just waiting to jump in front of your car.


  1. Anonymous7:26 PM

    Those verdant dicks.

  2. laughing laughing laughing... :)

  3. I, for one, welcome our new arboreal overlords.


Keep it clean, don't be mean....