Monday, January 24, 2011

Decorating the nursery

Before you get all excited and start going on about looking forward to the pictures, may I point out that I've been pregnant for 32 weeks and I've managed ONE picture of my pregnant self.  ONE.  Taken with my ipod, by myself, because my husband keeps filling up the memory card on the camera with pictures of water towers and little old men who are celebrating their 90th birthdays and it hasn't really occurred to him that he should document this important time in his unborn child's life EVEN THOUGH I'VE REPEATEDLY ASKED HIM TO.

Spawn, when you want to know why there aren't many pictures of you in Mommy's tummy - it's all your father's fault.  BET YOU'RE SORRY NOW, HUSBAND OF MINE!

Anyway, the moral of the story is: pictures???  You're kidding me right?  And of what?  The crib?

When I say "decorating" I'm not talking about painting or hanging pictures or curtains.  We (because, dude, I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I can barely move myself, let alone furniture without assistance) took the spare mattresses from one room to another.  The DB then vacuumed and washed the floor and we assembled the crib.

Over the months we've accumulated three cribs from various sources, only not nearly enough screws to fit them together.  So we bodged one together.

"Wait a minute!" the collective gasp goes up from the audience, "Did you just say you 'bodged' - as in 'Junkyard Wars-hold things together with duct tape-bodged?"

Really, y'all, do you honestly think we'd use DUCT TAPE?  It's not exactly non-toxic and you can totally chew through it.  (Don't ask me how I know about that.)  I'd never allow my husband to hold together the crib with duct tape.

We used those plastic hand-cuff thingys.

Plastic hand-cuffs, good enough for Cocaine King-pin, good enough for my baby's crib, yo.

Alright, I'm pulling your chain.  A little bit.  We had most of the screws we needed for one and found two longer screws that worked (to the point where the DB has declared we can't move because we can't disassemble the crib and we can't fit it through the door so we're going to have to stay put) and then were only two screws short so we used the cuffs.  It's sturdy.  It's very very sturdy.

We then went though the mountain of baby things we've been given or have borrowed in order to find out what we have and what we need.

Here's a good question: how do you know what you NEED?  I mean, how many diapers should I have on hand?  How many onesies does one need?  What sizes should you have?  When do you stop shopping!?

I ended up using the Consumer Reports newborn checklist.  I'm kinda a CR junkie.  

The good news is that we had almost all the large items.  The bad news is that most of what you need for a new baby is pretty boring and as the DB put it "I guess they're just no fun to buy."  But I've got some very cute outfits that will fit the Spawn a year from now.  So lets hope for some snow in 12 months, okay?  I've got about 8 knit caps, so I'm hoping the Spawn has four heads, but no booties, so I'm also hoping the Spawn hasn't got any feet.

From the used section of the classified-ads we purchased a "week-end" bed (a sort of foldable travel bed that also doubles as a play-pen) and a baby monitor.  DB was ready to buy a used breast pump but I was a little *ugh* and so we passed on that one.  I'll buy a brand new one, thankyouverymuch.  I reassigned a set of drawers from our walk-in closet and we  packed the pram, the pram insert (aka "lift" - we don't have these in the US), the diaper bag, and the soft-strap carrier into the closet and out of the way.

We still have to get the linens and a good amount of clothing to buy, not to mention all the nursing kit-and-caboodle.  We may get a mobile or a picture or two for the walls, although since we are renting we are loathe to put holes into anything.  I'm going to see if I can do something about the curtains, the current ones are pretty grim.

This is NOT our nursery.  
Sweet Jesus, someone save the poor child from this French Rococo nightmare. 

Next week the DB has Monday off, so we'll be able to sail to the mainland with a list in hand.  We'll hit the second-hand baby clothes shop (if I was a long heavy baby and my husband was a long heavy baby, can we assume that it is more likely that Spawn will be longer heavier baby and should we purchase onesies accordingly?), BabySam (like a Babies R Us), and Ikea.

Oh Ikea... I luv you!  You make it okay to live in a land that lacks the Wal-Mart and the Targét.

Anything you had or wished you had when you had a baby?


  1. Don't buy too many teeny tiny baby clothes, not because they won't fit, but because people will buy you tons... One thing I always recommend (and both of mine adored) is this: = instant sleepy baby! Happy shopping!

  2. Anonymous9:13 PM

    in answer to your question: an extra pair of tits (although wet nursing is available even in this day and age) plus a personal trainer and a nanny, a good nanny...not the sort that screws your cousin Billy and then borrows the neighbors car, crashes it into a wall and then set fires to the sofa (not all on the same day and that's the last time I'll employ a German anything, twice bitten twice shy.).

    There you go, that's my list, use it well xxx

    'The Writer Previously Known as Babs'

  3. As far as diapers go, don't buy more than one pack of 'newborn' size but stock up on a few packs of size 1. Diapers are so good anymore that it's better to have them slightly large (especially at night) than slightly small. I don't know if my diaper sizes will translate to Denmark so I hope I'm helping!

    Onsies are absolutely indispensable! Buy plenty in the 3 to 6 month size - you can always add layers.

    Collars, a lot of buttons and zippers always seemed to be uncomfortable for my kids, though they are often included on the very cute outfits. I wouldn't say you should avoid them, but...

    Oh, the night-time sleepers (footie jammies) often come with snaps, but here is where I would depart from my 'no zippers' mantra, as long as there was a flap of cloth to cover the zipper tab at the top.

    Whew, I know, a lot of info that you probably already know, but I hope I helped some!

  4. Thank you ladies!

    And Babs - ROFLMAO! Right, no Germans! Also, I got rather frustrated with my cat last night because he's got something like six nipples and he's a BOY, he doesn't need them! Why don't *I* have six teats!? Seems hardly fair, if you ask me...

  5. I love the whole "sail to the mainland" to "get supplies"... sounds very Little House on the Prairie!

    IKEA baby stuff is AWESOME! Have fun!

  6. My mate Alice said if she hadn't had a "My Breast Friend" pillow she'd never have been able to continue with breast feeding (because she needs to keep busy, I think and it frees up hands).
    Oh and another friend swore by INSULATED cups... Not for the baby... but apparently, you need them because as soon as you sit down for a nice warm drink, you need to do something while it goes cold.


Keep it clean, don't be mean....