Tuesday, February 08, 2011

... and with that, the Danish Boy began to panic

Sometimes I wonder if the Spawn is aware that the ultrasound tech said my due date is March 19th.

I ask, because I think the Spawn dropped today.  About half way through Danish class.

Last night Spawn was all up in my business, kicking my stomach, shoving my uterus into my lungs and causing me to wake gasping for air.  I had a completely random dream in which I went into labor and gave birth.  On March 23rd.

God I don't want to wait until March 23rd.  Even February 23rd sounds far away!

So anyway, there I am in Danish class and the Spawn is kicking and wriggling and suddenly I cannot sit comfortably.  I had this total flashback to when I wore short sexy little skirts (don't worry Mom, it didn't last very long and I was over 18) and it was so very important to keep your knees together when sitting down.  Because at that moment, "knees together" was not going to happen my friends.  I was trying my best to keep each leg as far away from my belly as possible.  And it was getting harder and harder to do.  Having my legs at the 90 degrees angle needed to sit in a chair was practically impossible.  I leaned back as far as I could but it just seemed that my belly had dropped down between my legs.  Forget worrying about the baby falling out (as some women describe it), I was worried my belly was going to end up falling out of my pelvis and hanging down by my knees.  HOW CAN YOU BIRTH A BABY THAT ISN'T IN YOUR PELVIS???

Now, having the Spawn drop, I was kinda hoping that I'd be able to breathe again.  This hasn't really been the case so far.  What has happened is that I seem to be getting kicked in new places, which is kinda nice, because maybe the bruises will heal.  (I swear I have uterine bruises, y'all.  You can't see them, but DAMN I have little spots that HURT!)  But I still have the problem - how am I going to sit
- at the dining table?
- at my desk?
- on the toilet?

And how much longer does this mean I have to go?  pleasedon'tsaysixweekspleasedon'tsaysixweeks Because supposedly I have six weeks to go.  Unless... we go by my original reckoning... which would make my due date March 10th... and that would be only a little over four weeks and that has GOT to be better than SIX.  And then if Spawn decides to come early, it's not too shockingly early... I mean, if Spawn came next week, then I'd only be three weeks early!

I think I might just start working on some of the methods suggested to bring about labor.  I'm already eating spicy food.  Perhaps I'll bring up the other method with the DB tonight over dinner...


  1. Anonymous7:47 PM

    Do you have an exercise ball? That might be more comfortable to sit on??? I don't even know.

    I do know that pineapple is supposed to make babies come too but that's the best I can do here.

  2. Anonymous12:51 AM

    All things happen in their own time. Especially babies.

    The last part of the third trimester can be seen as the time when you want to catch up on doing all the things you probably won't be able to do when baby finally arrives. Like sleeping and eating and bathing.

    Oh, and going to Denish klasses.



    'The Writer who used to write Babs'

  3. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! I'm sorry, I know how you feel... I can't recall ever thinking my babies dropped. From what you've said in your posts you seem to be much taller than me (I'm 5'2" after a good night's sleep). I do recall wishing as hard as I've ever wished for anything that my babes would come early - never happened. The last month is always the hardest because after reading all the manuals you know that after 38 weeks the baby is just gaining weight (at your expense!) so the spawn could be born perfectly healthy at 8 months without too many complications...

    And then, all of a sudden, you're in the hospital with a newborn and they're about to send you home WITHOUT A USAGE MANUAL!!! Thats how I felt with my first - THEY'RE ACTUALLY SENDING A ROOKIE HOME WITH A REAL LIVE BABY AND NO MANUAL!! Enjoy this last private month to month and a half. It will not return until this child (or your last child, depending on how many you have) leaves for college. Oh, the quiet and peace with your spouse...

    I could be a bit frazzled though, having gone through a few too many snow days with my kids lately... Lord, if you want my children to make it to adulthood, please bring on spring soon!!

  4. Wait... what am I supposed to do with the pineapple?

    @ GeoRider Wandering - I'm just shy of 5'9" so the answer would be wicked tall in the US, just average in DK. And I'm not worried about not having a manual - I have the internet! LOL! Hahahahahah! Yeah, I totally kill me! Oh, god they're going to let me go home with a little human being to mould and shape into a respectable member of society. Or another archaeologist. You know, whatever.


Keep it clean, don't be mean....