Friday, August 14, 2009

Pity party at the Archaeogoddess

I'm bloated, bleeding, suffering the fallout of yesterday's PMS, cramping, and suffering from the most horrendous headache.

This is not made any better by reading the news that Denmark sucks more than ever (Raid on Asylum Seekers Sparks Riot and Despite Protests Most Assholes Support Police). I got an email from the American Embassy, under no circumstances am I or other Americans to get ourselves arrested at a demonstration (best accomplished by not going to one... demonstration abstinence, heh). I missed the one last night (I didn't know one was going on until my Dane told me), which considering my mood, was probably a good thing. Today, I'm too worried that I'm going to explode, bleed to death, or collapse under waves of pain to go anywhere.

The ray of hope in my life is that while yesterday's Danish class SUCKED (I swear my teacher was speaking in tongues, not Danish) and I didn't understand AT ALL what was going on (I thought my homework had been UP TO lecture 21 not INCLUDING 21, drat), today we did reading comprehension which I ROCK at, hands down. Maybe I won't fail my module two test next week.

Provided that I survive the next few days.

Not only must I survive my monthly contribution to Tampax stockholders, but also the birthday party I am attending in Copenhagen. Anyone want me to drunk dial them? I can totally drunk dial you if you'd like. Only you have to live in Denmark because I can't dial foreign countries when I'm drunk. Too many numbers. How do people manage to send drunk text messages? I'd probably manage to write "You are so yuarpfhruing" SEND. (For those of you not in the know, Danish birthday parties for adults include speeches and songs and a LOT of toasting. I'm getting better at the not actually drinking the toasts, but I find clutching a glass of wine is much better than bunching up the tablecloth or fiddling with the knives when you get bored and/or stressed. You worry less people that way.) Gah if I have to sit through speeches and songs while cramping and aching, then someone really will get hurt.

Will someone please take my head and my uterus for a walk? They seem to be overly excited and could use some exercise while I have a lay down.


  1. I feel your pain - next week I should be hell to be around lol

    After reading about your drunk texts, I went to a favorite science fiction site for news and found this if you get the urge to send drunk texts lol

  2. Anonymous7:21 PM

    Urgh. You remind me, my period is just around the corner. I suddenly have murderous passion too when I'm having my period.

    About drunk texting, I have no idea either. I don't do drunk dialing unless I call requesting to be picked up since the world is moving too fast for me to stand straight.

    When will you be in Copenhagen? Any chance we could meet? Or you are already here?

  3. I think with the drunk text you just save "WHAT U DOIN" or "HAVEN"T HURD FROM U" on to your mobile and then send it to whoever.

    Feel better! x

  4. International drunk dialing is the BEST! And it's even better when the victi-I mean, family member of friend in question asks, "How much have you had to drink?" "None! Noooooo never drunk dial..."

    My best friend's mother gave me a shirt that reads "Don't drink and dial." I told her it's a waste if it's not printed upside down--because then I can't read it when drunk.

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  6. Anonymous7:57 PM

    Oh honey, I'm sorry! I used to have big pains too. I'm not one to give advice, but if you want some, I have some...poor you.

  7. @ the writer: 'fraid I'll be indulging the in-laws with tales of why I still do not speak danish all tonight and then we get up early tomorrow and get the hell out of Dodge (as they say). All my copenhagener friends are after me for a proper visit, so perhaps once my husband heads off to Holland I'll make a special trip just for y'all!

    @ Corinne: or backwards so you can read it in the mirror in the bathroom when you go in to... er... freshen up!


Keep it clean, don't be mean....