Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I love stupid news stories

The best way to make yourself embarrassed to be part of the human race is to read some of the "news" articles on MSN. Seriously people, is journalism dead? People pay you for this crap??

I point to: Can Your Flip Flops Kill You?

This goes to show that not only did this journalist get the short end of the stick during the morning meeting, but that there are scientists out there getting MY GRANT MONEY to research STUPID things.

I mean, the shocker of the article? There are GERMS on your flip-flops. AND FECES! Because we all know that regular shoes are germ free and have never stepped in dog poop.

And apparently the scientist is also a weirdo who likes to fondle his flip-flops... he says you touch them more often than regular shoes because you often need to adjust them. Uh, I don't know about you lot, but I don't readjust my slip-on sandals with my hands. They're SLIP ON. I slide my foot around until it's all working. Heck, if I get a rock in my sandal I just slip my foot out and use my toes to remove offending object. And yes, I do wash my feet before going to bed if I've been wearing open shoes. Feet get dusty and dirty in those things. It happens. The world is a dirty place. Not that he suggests this clever way of avoiding Certain Death. Certain Death being what you are facing because you just won't wear sneakers ALL THE TIME!! You Barefoot Freaks! Don't you know this is why the dinosaurs went extinct? Because they didn't invent CLOSED FOOTWEAR!!

I bet he has ugly feet and he's afraid of looking like a freak because he won't wear sandals. "Yeah, I can't show you my feet because if I wore flip flops I'd catch a weird disease and DIE, so that's why I'm wearing my combat boots in 100 F weather! And you should do it too before your feet fall off." Yeah.

(If you wonder what journalism is coming to these days, may I suggest http://probablybadnews.com/ as a cure from all your ills - or at least confirm your suspicions that we're headed for hell in a handbasket.)

7 comments:

  1. I agree...he must have some butt-ugly feet! Flip Flops RULE! And they only cost 2.50 at Old Navy!

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  2. Poor intern, got hit with the story no one wanted to do. 'University of Miami emergency mobile flip-flop lab' REALLY?

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  3. Actually, I shudder at the thought of how gross my all leather sandals from Israel must be. I've walked through fish markets and Roman sewers, not to mention Copenhagen pedestrian streets after the (some of the) bars close!

    I wash 'em down from time to time, but they do have that special sweaty leather smell. They have got to be cleaner than my sneakers, though. I excavated and walked cow infested fields in those things!

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  4. What a crock. And the obsession with a germ free environment is a leading factor for why our children are more prone to illnesses such as colds and infections. Because they don't eat dirt! I will just shake my head in dismay with my fellow flip-flopping, dirty feeted, former mud-pie eating peeps.

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  5. Kelli - Could be worse, he could have a foot-ugly butt :-)

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  6. "Cow infested fields"--haha, good one.
    I can't even imagine wearing shoes in this heat. My feet are permanently suntan-banded from wearing sandals. Germs shmerms.

    Listen Archaeogoddess, I finally answered your comment question:
    Because it was a burial ground we were accompanied 8 hours a day by a rabbi from Atra Kaddisha. We were not allowed to dig if he or his locum was not present.
    Even though they were not Jewish bones, but Canaanite, they were treated respectfully. After examination in the lab, they will be reburied in some secret place.
    Our dig was a salvage or rescue dig. By now the bulldozers of the building contractor have readied the site for construction of a highrise apartment building.

    But here I might add:
    As you say, "back when," my archaeologist boss had to have police guard his house after receiving threats from the haredim. Apparently nowadays the two sides have come to a modus vivendi.

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  7. Thanks for your good comment just now. Is it meant for publishing?

    Actually this last dig of mine was the first time I was ever allowed to take and even to post photos of what we found. When the boss saw that I loved photography he encouraged me to take pictures of the human life of a dig. He asked for a CD of them at the end.
    Then my co-workers (all Arab men) started asking for prints of them working. It got to be time consuming and expensive. But also kind of like a mitsvah. :)
    Most of the men will never have a computer or a camera and probably have few photos of themselves.

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Keep it clean, don't be mean....