Tuesday, February 19, 2013

If we lived in a Stephen King novel, we'd probably be dead.


Danish Boy (looking out the front door window): Woah, how weird is that!?
AG (doing dishes): How weird is what?
DB: The fog!  It’s SO thick!
AG (looks out the kitchen window, which looks into the back yard): Uh, there’s no fog here.
DB: Weird!  It’s really thick over here! I can’t see the next field. (Pause) Maybe it’s smoke and there’s a HUGE fire!
AG: Well, I got nothing over here.
DB: So weird!!
AG: Right, so as soon as I finish these glasses I’m going to have a look.
DB: Oh don’t bother, its just fog.
(Long pause as AG works this through her head)
AG: So you are telling me not to look at the really weird fog that has so impressed you so much that you keep talking about it?
DB: Uh… (laughs)
AG: (does "dumb boy" voice) Wow, this fog, man, it’s the most amazing fog ever!  No, don’t bother looking.  It's only really really interesting.  But you don't need to see it.
DB: Heh.
AG: (switches "dumb boy" voice for high sarcasm) YUM, wow, I’m eating the best food ever!  It’s amazing!  The taste is just FANTASTIC!  No, I’m not going to give you a taste, you don’t need to taste it.  You just need to know that I’m having the most amazing food ever!
DB: Okay, I get your point.
AG: UMMMMMM!  YUM!
DB: Yes, yes.  Enough already.
AG: Yes, but NOW it’s FUNNY!
(Finishes washing the glasses and goes to the front door.)
AG: WHAT FOG?
DB: Huh?
AG: There’s no fog.  No smoke.  Nothing!
DB: Weird!  I swear you couldn’t see the trees over there!
AG: Hey, Spawn, come see the fog that isn’t there!
DB (anguished): I swear there was fog!
AG: What a let down.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Conversations between Father and Child


Today at lunch the following occurred (translated from the Danish for your benefit):

The DB and the Spawn were sharing a little juice box with their lunch.  Spawn reaches for the box.
DB: Here, let me help you with that.
Spawn: NO!  I can myself! *picks up box and drinks from the straw* See?!
*slurp slurp slurp*
DB: Can I have some?
Spawn: NO! *slurp* It’s empty.
DB: Empty?!
Spawn: *slurp slurp slurp* Yes. *slurp slurp slurp*
DB: You cheat!  There’s more in the box!  You are drinking it right now! 
Spawn: NooOoo.  *slurp slurp slurp* Empty. *slurp slurp slurp*

Her poker face was impeccable.  There was just the problem of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary of what she was saying.

*slurp slurp slurp*