It was Saturday, right?
Bloody hell, what day is it? What country am I in? Who are you people? Is that soap?
At some point in the recent past (as I shall now refer to all times that came before RIGHT NOW, "recent" being optional) I carefully copied the instructions for cleaning our apartment onto my computer. The instructions were in Danish, mind you, but apart from some minor automatic corrections ("i" kept becoming "I" which is the difference between "in" and "y'all" leading to some hilarity) I did a damn fine job. My husband at first tried to explain to me what errors in grammar I had made until I showed him the original and pointed out that I can't construct Danish sentences in the passive voice, I just copied what I saw. Present, past, future, and short imperative, I can do that. I only know passive voice from my grammar check, which thinks I should stop writing about how things were in the past and start writing about how things are in the past. Or something. Dude, I don't really know, I just string a bunch of words together and hope it flies so they'll let me go play in the dirt.
Anyway, the printer doesn't connect to my computer so I transfered the file to my husband's computer where he struggled mightily to work with it under my user profile, getting frustrated that Word was in English. "How do you change it?" sprøg han. "I dunno," svar jeg. "Well, how did you type it in the first place without Danish?" "I know where the shortcuts are for special symbols." "Okay, so how do I make an 'æ'?" "Dunno." "But you typed it!!??!!" "Yeah, on my Mac, your PC sucks!"
These sort of exchanges seem to drive him crazy. He makes this cute noise like a boiling kettle about to burst. I think he also vibrates at a sub-atomic level.
Finally I calmed him down enough to explain to him that he can stick the document into "Shared Docs" and then open his user person thingy and retrieve it and THEN the Danish dictionary would be present and so would the "proper" keys. Because he REALLY didn't like the idea of memorizing a bunch of shortcuts. (Although, it's really only ø, å, and æ. Not "a bunch." I think that may be an opinion I will keep to myself.)
Later he boggled (you know, "mind boggling"? Past-tense verb form is boggled. Would I make this sh*t up?) about my ability to type Danish on an English keyboard. I smugly pointed out I know how to type French, German, Spanish, AND Danish on my keyboard. With just a quick snap of the "option" key.
I have to point out my goddessness from time to time, you know.