Dumb people

I really really love news stories like this. Because stupid people are FUNNY!

I think it may be Spring

Although the last time I said that it snowed only a few hours later. But the daffodils are coming up, small tweeting birds have taken up residence in the shopping carts and...

What?

Yeah, so I go shopping today and as I walk by the line of shopping carts chained to the retaining wall and I realized that they were filled with little tweeting birds. Mostly you find these sorts of birds hanging out in shrubs and hedges. But apparently we have slacker birds here, who hang out in front of supermarkets, messing with the carts and whistling at the cute chicks that go by.

Meanwhile we have us a storm here that must be trying out for the Big Bad Wolf because if I doesn't blow a couple of tiles off the old factory down the street, I'll be very surprised. This is where I am very glad that most of our power lines run underneath the street, because just like the house in which I grew up, this is an all electrical establishment. Were the power to go out, I'd be sitting in the dark, in the cold, with no way of heating or cooking anything.

Every now and then the wind actually blows a hole in the clouds and you see blue sky for a second. Well, it's either that or a blue house flying through the air. I would not be that surprised, no I would not.

And now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll try to stay away from the windows for a while.

I get the whole free speech thing...

but sometimes I wonder if people do it just to create a reaction.

So a while back there was the Mohammed Cartoon Crisis. Everyone has heard about it by now. If you haven't, you've lived under a rock because it was all over the news. The creator of one of the most famous cartoons (the one with the bomb in Mohammed's turban) had received death threats. Police in Denmark tracked the threats to a group of Muslims living in Denmark. Then yesterday they arrested them. The DB had a heck of a time getting in to work, seeing how there were lots of other news organizations hanging around and taking pictures, interviewing people and interfering with the security people and the police who were checking the id of everyone trying to get inside. The DB was very glad he got his photo id card Tuesday.

In a show of solidarity, a number of newspapers decided to YET AGAIN reprint the cartoons. And make big statements about free speech. As expected this set off a lot of other angry people, who are ticked off that the newspapers, having offended a huge population of the planet, would do so AGAIN, just because they can.

I support freedom of speech, but I also think that there should be a measure of social responsibility involved (it's that whole "fire" in crowded theater thing). It reminds me of the scene in Die Hard: With a Vengeance - where McClane is standing in Harlem with an "I hate Niggers" sign around his neck. Sure, a man has a right to go to Harlem and wear that sign, it's his right to freedom of speech, but if he gets the crap kicked out of him, or shot... well, that'll teach him.

I applaud people who stand up and say things that need to be said, even if they are unpopular and sometimes suicidal. But I'm a lot less sympathetic to those who say things for the purpose of creating conflict, fostering negative dialogue, and hurting people's feelings. This is why bullying is looked down on (hey, it's only words, why don't we just explain to the bullied that the bullies are just practicing their right to freedom of speech and they shouldn't let it get them down) and we have "hate mongering" and "sexual harassment" - all of which are ways of using words that are hurtful and in some cases, prosecutable.

Words hurt, and while we have the right to say what we want, we should also think about what we are trying to say and what impact that may have on those around us.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?

So Friday morning was a pretty normal day in the life of the archaeogoddess. I had to drive in to Århus to get at some hefty encyclopedias (what IS the plural of encyclopedia, encyclopedias sounds stupid... what about encyclopediae?) and I really had only three things on my mind.. which I was planning on posting under the title: "What ever happened to..."

What ever happened to trash compacters as the next big thing in kitchen appliances? I remember, vaguely, hearing this was the case and, way back when I was small(er), I knew someone who had one. The name escapes me at the moment. I remember getting in trouble for repeatedly pushing the button and possibly for also throwing things away just so that I could repeatedly pushing the button and eventually I was told I was not, under pain of death, to touch the damn button again! But that's it. Today, no one I know has one. And it would be a handy thing to have. Keep you from jumping up and down on the trash, in order to pack more in. Especially seeing how my dad has to go out and get into my family's trash-trailer and leap about like a lunatic. I feel it is a rather dangerous pastime my father has undertaken at his age. Bring back the trash compacter!

What ever happened to all of my highlighters? I know I had them around somewhere... Damn, this one is dead too! I swear there is an office elf somewhere eating my highlighters and sucking other ones dry.

What ever happened to my gas milage? Or gas kilometerage (awkward!)? I got 5 km to the liter on the way into Århus! That's less than 12 miles to the gallon - about right for the '72 Chevelle, but not a mid-90's Volvo!?

Funny story about that last one. I drove the Volvo in and then met up with the Danish Boy for some Mexican food (ah, yeah!) and we swapped cars for the drive home. I love my VW Lupo! And then I played the "don't lose the DB" game - which is funny because the DB THINKS he's driving so nicely that I won't lose him, but it takes a bit of weaving and cutting in front of people to stay behind him. (I mean, if he was going to be really nice and easy to follow he could start by GOING THE SPEED LIMIT!) Anyway, I caught him at a red light - and as he gunned it through the intersection I noticed a crazy bunch of liquid pouring out of the back of the car. And then there was a VERY strong smell of gasoline. Now, we'd thought we may have had a leak, because we could smell gas fairly strongly at times, but there was never any puddle where we parked. This is because we forgot rule #1 of gasoline - it vaporizes at a crazy low temperature. So I speed up and tail my dear boyfriend, staring intently at the back of the car. Every acceleration, every curve, every time he shifted, more liquid came pouring out of the car, instantly turning to a misty vapor that was then sucked into my air system. High on gas fumes, I called the DB (disclosure: the archaeogodess does not condone calling while driving - unless it is an emergency, get off the damn phone and drive, people!) and let him know what was up. There was much swearing. We sent the car in for it's 6 month check-up with a "please look at the gas leak" caution, but what is really irking to the DB is that he filled up the tank on Thursday for me. We'd used or lost half a tank (i.e. $50) and would now probably lose the other half when they pump the gas out in order to inspect the tank.

I did have a very good time in Århus, what with the eating and the being out and about, and we probably wouldn't have discovered the leak otherwise, but the DB is right in thinking that we could have just saved ourselves the trip and run up and down Main Street Ebeltoft throwing 20 kroner ($4) coins at people instead. It would have been cheaper.

What if...

...the Danes got to vote in the primaries? Who would they vote for? (I know, you've been loosing sleep over this very issue.) Well Søndagsavisen has answered our cries - over 40% for Hillary, Obama was close behind her with 34.5%, with McCain trailing a distant third at just under 4% and last but not least, Huckabee with less than 1% of the vote. (No, I don't know how many people they asked. Geez.)

What does it all mean? Not much, I thought it was rather funny. If you read Slate, you get the feeling all of Europe is for Obama. But not Denmark. Personally I think it is because Hillary is so very much more Danish than Obama. Yeah, she looks more Danish, but I mean that Obama brings a message of hope and promise, two things Danes don't really believe in. Pragmatic, that is a good word for the Danes, and Hillary has that in spades.

So really, what Republicans need to be very worried about is not illegal Mexican immigrants sneaking their way into the voting booths, but Danes.

Things that make the archaeogoddess not happy...

Okay, so I expect a certain bit of ridiculousness from the media. The ongoing "surprise" at ANYTHING. The making mountains of molehills. The jumping to conclusions. And after landing neck deep in it, the lack of apologizing. But sometimes I am quite amazed at the biases in the media that are so blatant that I have to gape.

Take CNN this morning. I check to see if there is anything I missed over the last 24 hours. And I see the following:
Suicide blast in Pakistan kills 4.
Female bomber kills 8 in Columbo.
Lebanese Army: Israel kills citizen.

But the BREAKING NEWS, so big that they have no picture, but instead a huge yellow box with "breaking news" written inside:
Three dead in Israel blast.

If you die in a suicide blast in Israel, you are apparently breaking news, even if MORE PEOPLE DIE IN OTHER SUICIDE BLASTS ANYWHERE ELSE.

Really, the blast in Pakistan should be more important news, because it shows how Pakistan is falling apart. A female suicide bomber in Sri Lanka? She killed EIGHT!? That's a high death count and it looks as if that country is falling apart too, it has got to be more important news. And Israel may have killed a Lebanese citizen... okay, this is actually not really news, because they do it quite frequently. In fact they did it quite a lot the other summer. And don't get me started on the number of Palestinian bystanders that get taken out all the time. (But then Israel doesn't consider Palestinian bystanders to be innocent, no more than Palestinians consider any Israeli to be a non-combatant.)

But OH NO, we have BREAKING NEWS here. Why? Is it because it may show that the peace process is stalled (note: it has been dead for some time now) and Bush's desperate last ditch effort (too little, too late) for a more positive legacy has failed (what, was he freakin' kidding me)? Or is it because we are so tied up with Israel and the importance of Israel that their citizens count as more important that the citizens of every other nation on the planet, except our own, and thus are more newsworthy?

Can you tell I'm jaded?

Someone take me to Vegas...

and sit as far away from me as possible. Not only has the Fed lowered interest rates twice in a week, which "shocks" journalists everywhere, but Giuliani doesn't even make it to the New York primary. (It's very good that he tanked out, not only because he would have made a lousy president, but I CANNOT spell his name.) Then, not long after I finished my last post the other day, complaining about the lack of snow - then it SNOWED. Not for very long and not very much and it didn't stick around, but still snow.

The weather here is playing with my mind. Sun, cloudy, SNOW, sun, cloudy, SNOW! Enough - pick one and go with it! And no more damn wind. I'm sick of the wind.

In the end, since I seem to bring the opposite of what I am thinking/wanting - if you just bet against me, you'll probably win every time.

How to make an archaeogoddess happy in the off season

It's very simple.

1) Start with sun. There must be sun. The archaeogoddess is suffering from lack of vitamin D.

2) Second, there must be cookies. This is how I fell to the dark side. I heard there were cookies.

3) Then there must be a reason to go out and drive around. The archaeogoddess loves to drive. Especially if there is some great pop music to bop to.*

4) Send her out on a task that involves going to the hardware store.

I love hardware stores. I love the smell of nails, that tangy iron smell (I hear blood smells the same, anyone?). I love how hardware stores are always in a large building that has very warm spots and very cold spots (it is ALWAYS cold by the nails). I love all the stuff that I can touch and feel and imagine using. "Hey, I wonder if I should re-caulk my windows!" I love the lumber section, the paint section, and the gardening section. My favorite hardware store, now long gone, was in downtown Sutter Creek. It was in an old gold rush era building, probably had always been a hardware store (now it's antique furniture, which isn't so bad, actually). It had old creaky floors and crumbling stone walls. It was always cold, even on the hottest days of summer. There was a very scary basement - a big hole in the floor that was dark and had a dank draft oozing up the rickety stairs. You couldn't have given me enough chocolate in the world to make me go down there. There was always dust in the air, part sawdust and part antiquity, that had the most fantastic smell. There was a large scale for weighing the nails. I used to pull on it to see how strong I was or to see if I could hold it at 5 pounds without wiggling. I remember going in with my dad several times and I loved to stop by for Christmas Open House (they always had cider). Unlike automotive stores, where I feel as if I'm trespassing or unwelcome, hardware stores never felt particularly sexist. Maybe it's the gardening section, but women in hardware stores is not a sign of the approaching apocalypse. Alas, today, all I needed were mouse and rat traps (though if the Danish boy had just brought me a sample of their feces I would know which we actually needed). Perhaps tomorrow he'll need something else!

*The archeogoddess normally likes heavier music that includes yelling and will induce steering wheel thumping, but happy pop is great for short trips.

"Maybe if you give them some petty cash they won't notice the recession!"

Well, I was wrong about the rates. But anyone who is still thinking that we aren't in a recession already is an idiot. Why do I keep seeing all these reports: are you ready for a recession, is a recession inevitable, will we end up in a recession? The answers are: no, because if we were ready, it wouldn't be a recession, would it? Yup. And we're already in a recession, dumba$$.

And would people stop blaming the various government parties for the recession? It was the bad loans that tipped us all in. There could have been more oversight, or the banks could have stopped giving money away so easily. It's like the dot-com crash, not government induced, idiot induced!

Meanwhile, I had the stomach flu, which was awful in all kinds of ways. The Danish boy was phenomenal, making up batches of re-hydration fluid, peeling apples and boiling up cups of beef bouillon - while still working +12 hour shifts driving the taxi at night.

We then had to shift from the night schedule we have been on to the day shift. This was very painful, as I'm getting over the flu, I have a hard time determining when I'm going to sleep and when I'm not. However, it looks as if we may have succeeded. Alas, here I am at 7 am (I've been up for several hours now) and the sun hasn't risen, the wind may blow down the house and the day is not looking so hot. The weather here has been atrocious. Wind wind and more wind. No snow. Two winters ago we got blanketed and I don't remember so much wind. I guess global warming has robbed me of my snowy winter, this weather feels more like California in February than what one expects from northern Europe. However, it is getting noticeably lighter earlier and staying light for later. This is wonderful. Now if we only would have less cloud cover and less wind, people may actually have a chance at getting some vitamin D.

The dissertation continues and we aren't going to talk about it any more. Because we hates it. It is not precious.

The wedding plans also continue... at a snails pace. There are some rather large financial concerns that must be squared away before we proceed. At this point I am in no hurry. It's not going to be a fancy affair, there will be no frills or favors, and I will probably wear a nice sun dress and flip-flops, so the amazing pressure that normally surrounds a wedding is lacking. Etiquette is out the window - it's not so much a wedding as a casual party. Thankfully!

And on a completely random note - why do none of my cookbooks include a PLAIN oatmeal cookie recipe? I hate dates (unless they are stuffed with cheese and baked) and I don't have chocolate chips. Yes, I am sure somewhere in this god-forsaken country there are chocolate chips, but seeing how it's taken me five years to find the one store that sometimes sells ricotta cheese, I may never find chocolate chips. I also don't want to put all kinds of spices into them. I just want some nice, plain, oatmeal cookies. Is it so much to ask?

Some predictions based on nothing more than my gut...

Some official gut based predictions. Because although I told a friend just a day or two ago that the markets were going to take a dive, I doubt anyone else believes me. It's really hard to say "i told you so" if you have no proof. Thus I am making some predictions. And if I'm wrong then I get to write about how surprised I was and what went wrong. My god, if everything I predict is wrong - I could get a job at CNN! If I can think of someone to blame, indicating that I wasn't wrong, but misinformed and possibly manipulated in some way, I could work for FOX!

Prediction #1: I think interest rates will rise (so that banks will be able a quicker return from lenders and will feel more confident about lending - fewer people can afford the higher interest rates and so only those who have stable incomes will be able to get loans).

Prediction #2: McCain will win the primarys and choose Romney as his running mate.

Prediction #3: Hillary will get the nom, but she will NOT pick Obama to be her running mate, or Edwards, but maybe Bill Richardson.

An amazingly long rant on politics and economy... my apologies

I am sick and tired of listening to the surprised media. It seems the major news being reported always comes as a shock to everyone from the journalists to the people they’re interviewing.

The biggest surprise - on on-going surprise - is the primary season. No matter who won what, the results of the vote seems to be this huge shock to everyone. “Whoa! Hillary won! Who’d a seen that coming?” “Whoa! Obama won! Who’d a seen that?” “My god, someone else won some other state in that other party! Whoa!”

My god, you would think that it never occurred to the press that SOMEONE would win. And the shock over the polls should stop, right now. Anyone remember, “Dewey wins”? Polls can be wrong. Gasp! News at 11!

It was funny the first time the talking heads on various news networks hashed out their surprise, but it’s gone on too long. The only reason people are surprised at the results is because they had pre-conceived notions and they were wrong. Perhaps, it is time to DROP the notions, people, you will discover INTEREST rather than SURPISE at the results of each new primary to be MUCH MORE USEFUL WHEN REPORTING THE NEWS.

Most annoying is the “oh-my-god-Hillary-is-winning-how-is-she-doing-this.” Um, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, because more people have voted for her so far? Or maybe I’m just confused at how the voting process works. I would like the press to stop trying to figure out her campaign strategy - that’s Obama’s people’s job, and try reporting on the various platforms that the candidates are offering. Why is the media so surprised that more women voted for Hillary after she got misty-eyed (sorry, I’ve seen the footage, that is NOT crying)? That’s the only footage they ran for two days!! If I were on Obama’s team I’d be suing the stations for all that free air-time. And then the media has the audacity to say that people aren’t voting on the issues, but on personality. Gee, when was the last time they reported on the issues? Remember the CNN poll - 96% of the viewers wanted to see more reporting on the issues. Now that is a poll I would trust.

The second big surprise that I saw coming for miles away was the downturn of the economy. People on this side of the pond have had to listen to me tell them, the end is coming, but I was ignored. Typical. Just because a girl hates studying economics and still can’t quite figure out the Fed, they think she can’t predict recessions.

You might be about to see a recession if:
1) you find yourself ordering water instead of soda to drink with your meal.
2) the bank had promised you that you would have no problems getting a loan, but suddenly you are turned down with vague excuses.
3) the government tries to push emergency measures through that give loans or money away AGAINST the will of the banks.

Banks and truck drivers are probably the best indicators of the economy. But not in the way you may think. Banks are out to make money and will do their damnedest to make sure of it. Why do they have all those lovely fees? So when banks give out loans to anyone with a pulse, you know they are confident. When suddenly they stop, it’s because they’ve freaked out. Now they don’t want to part with their money. And since it is YOUR money, you should be afraid. It’s time to button down the hatches, folks. The banks have closed for business. The government, bless them, trying to make the banks give us money… it’s counterintuitive. Banks are telling us, it is time to keep your money, don’t spend. Meanwhile the government is saying, here have some money, spend it, it will help the economy. But does it really? You are going to spend it on heat, gas, and food (which is almost like spending it on gas). You are not going to invest it, you are not going to buy something very large with monthly payments attached (like you could get a loan at this point). What the government is hoping is to pretend to be the good guy, hey and maybe $600 will help you keep that McMansion (yeah, right), until the economy rights itself. To do that, the people who over extended themselves are going to be sacrificed. The mortgage companies and the banks are going to have to keep swallowing the bankruptcies until people are back to living within their means, and that also means, don’t expect to qualify for a loan anytime soon. The bank can’t afford the risk. And frankly, neither can you!

Truck drivers are very aware of the price of gas. Their livelihood depends on it. So as the cost of gas goes up, they become much more conservative with their cash. Go to a truck stop. See what they are eating. Is it just cups and cups of coffee, finished off by one donut? We’re screwed. A big plate of food, however, means gas prices are down. I wonder how prostitution is affected? Are men more likely or less likely to visit prostitutes during economic downspins? Hmmm.

Meanwhile, the rest of the world has been running around for the last few months on a false high. “Oh, the US dollar is down! Look at all the money we have!!” As if some how the economies of the world are not all connected. Sorry folks, we’ll be taking you down soon enough. Already I hear the stocks are dropping. No surprise I’m afraid. As Americans stop spending or lending, things are going to get less pretty everywhere else. Probably not so bad, because the first thing that happens is that banks stop lending. And that stops the bubble from getting any bigger. But if you have overextended yourself, now is NOT a good time for you.

And if you think I’m sitting around all smug like, I’m afraid to disillusion you, but things are not so good here. The home equity that we thought was going to cover the apartment bills is suddenly no longer available. Instead we had to use our savings and credit to pay the bills. So now, to pay for the wedding, it looks like we’ll have to sell the car. But this is the car that saves us money on gas, so without the car, we can’t live in the countryside. So we’ll probably have to move back into the apartment, with roommates. Which will actually raise the amount of equity that we can use for bills.

Constancy...

There are certain constants in this life. I am not talking about death and taxes, because these days everyone is trying to cheat one or the other. But certain things will always be.

1) There is a bottle of soy sauce in the refrigerator.
2) Somewhere in your house, there are dried onions.

Your fridge may be empty except for those things, but damn it, you've got 'em.

Some people may be depressed by this. What about love? What about beauty?

Well love is fickle, and beauty is ephemeral, but soy sauce is FOREVER!

But Danish libraries on the other hand...

So the State Library at Århus has the world's suckiest search engine EVER. I have been trying to find the Reallexikon für Antike und Christetum for days now. I tried various spellings and all kinds of other things and then admitted defeat to my advisor. Who found it in the Copenhagen library. And suggest that I'm an idiot. So I tried again to find it in the Århus library. Still no go. But I'm an angry girl and I refuse to give in - so I tried by searching for one of the editors, who were listed on the Copenhagen library page and WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT? There it was, in the Århus library. I cannot find it using the title, only the author. But as an encyclopedia, it doesn't really have authors. I mean, I found the Lexicon Iconographicum Mythologiae Classicae by title - what is the difference between the two? Not a goddamned thing except that one can be found searching for the title and the other CANNOT!!

Fucking goddamned library. I'm going to send an email. This needs to be fixed.

Librarians - superior humans all around...

It occurs to me that I have been extraordinarily spoiled while growing up. My mother is a librarian. This meant that I could get my hands on just about any book I wanted to read, quickly, and often for as long as I wanted. (Pst, if you are the child of a librarian, you don't have to pay late fines!) Now I thought that this was awesome, but I thought that the awesomeness of it was because she was my mother and loves me. Well, it is true, she is my mother and current research suggests that she loves me, but I did not quite realize the amazing amount of awesomeness that came from her being a librarian.

See, librarians are superior human beings. There is a great amount of evidence to support this.
1) The existence of L-Space and the librarian mastery of it. (Check wikipedia - they know it to be true!)
2) The following conversation I had with the on-line librarian at my university library:

Librarian: Hi!

aimguest50525423: Hi! I am currently doing research in another country. Before I left I had made a photocopy of an article, but seem to have not copied one page. Is there any way I can request that it be scanned and emailed to me?

Librarian: What was the name of the article?

aimguest50525423: "The Mildenhall Treasure: Roald Dahl's ultimate tale of the unexpected" in Antiquity 71 (1977) Issue 271 (Spring) - I need page 72! :-)

Librarian: I'll go get it and scan it. What's your email?

aimguest50525423: xxx@xxx.xxx - You are a saint! Many happy returns and a fantastic holiday to you!!

Librarian: Only a slight exaggeration. As long as it's on the shelf, we'll be all set. Happy holidays!

And low and behold it was done! LIbrarians are made of awesome.

You know you ought to go to bed when...

you decide that the best part of your dissertation is:

"the fort faced the full fury..."

I am sure I've heard it said that alliteration was for people who can't write. But frankly, I am not going for the Pulitzer here. I just want my damn degree.

See - I just can't help myself.

Italian cooking in Denmark

Did you know that there is a season for mozzarella? Neither did I. But there is. After going to a specialty store to get ricotta cheese (which can ONLY be purchased at specialty stores) I really should have asked if they had some sliced mozzarella - but foolish me, I thought you could get it sliced really easily elsewhere. After all, there are BAGS of pre-grated mozzarella, why not sliced? Thankfully, you can get little soft balls of the stuff in salt water. I just have to figure out how to slice it without crumbling it or slicing off my thumb.

I have come to hate my California Cooking cookbook with a passion. Although my lasagna recipe does not come from there, the author swarmingly insists that *buffalo mozzarella* is the best, and can be purchased at your local cheese specialty shop. My local cheese specialty shop is an hour drive away, you fucking pansy assed cocksucker! I was lucky to find the damn ricotta! The local gourmet store, specializing in wine, has some cheese, but it was these kind folks who informed me about the seasonality of mozzarella. Thankfully they had fennel seeds in a big bag in the back, or I’d have been lost. Cayenne powder and mace powder, however, do not exist anywhere outside of Italy or America.

On the other hand, unlike Israel, Denmark has plenty of pork, so I could make Italian sausage. No, they don’t have it pre-made. Unfortunately, Denmark is so ecologically friendly that the concept of a one-use lasagna dish is anathema. I’ll be using my roasting pan.

Then there was the small matter of tomato sauce. Tomato sauce is my nemesis. I could not find it in Israel. Here in Denmark, there is tomato sauce, but the can I grabbed out of the tomato sauce can basket was not tomato sauce, but peeled tomatoes. Let this be a lesson for cooks everywhere - double check the label. Thank god I have a hand blender! In less than 10 seconds I had sauce-like tomatoes. Then there was the incident where I defrosted the wrong package of meat. I blame the Danish Boy for this one. It is really hard to read his handwriting when the label is frozen into a fold in the object. What I read as “beef” turned out to be “beef and pork.” So this will be a very piggy lasagna.

As for side dishes, don’t make me laugh. I’m lucky to make one dish tonight, let alone another one. “Oh,” I hear you say, “but what about salad? That’s really easy!” Fuck you - there is no salad during winter! I could probably defrost some spinach, but I don’t think that is what was intended when they shredded and froze it. I could also pay exorbitantly for genetically modified salad imported by truck from Spain (frozen, then defrosted in the back room), but apart from tasting disgusting, I’m not so sure that it’s not healthier just to drink more orange juice (also imported and packed full of preservatives). We are pretty much down to root vegetables for the next few months. But I must say, parsley and celery root is very good when sautéed with carrots.

Don't leave me hangin'...

Sorry about the delay - threw out my back and have been laying in pain on soft surfaces for a few days.

So, the Danish Boy got an internship at Jyllands-Posten! Yes, that *would* be the newspaper that published the Muhammed cartoons. Apart from its amazing lack of tack, it is a good newspaper and, most importantly, means that I don't have to move to Copenhagen.

Yeah, well, that's where my priorities were. I love where I live, and yes, I would have gone to Copenhagen if I'd had to, but I like it so much better here in Ebeltoft (where the trees have turned wonderful colours - and then lost almost all their leaves to the amazingly strong wind). I get to stay in my nice apartment and we don't have to try and find an affordable closet in which to live.

Its always the weather...

One of everyone's favorite topics here in Denmark is the weather. Danes love to complain about it. Of course, if a non-Danes says something like, "the weather here sucks!" Danes will point out the glorious summers. When the non-Dane then says, "well, yeah, except for the glorious summers" the Danes retort, "except sometimes summer is only three days long."

You can't win a weather conversation with a Dane.

I find that the best I can do in a conversation about the weather is to say, "Danish weather is pretty bad, but it is a d@mn site better than Rhode Island weather." Rhode Islanders will be quick to point out that they have a very pretty fall, lots of colours on the leaves and a pleasant spring. But 4 weeks of habitable weather per year is HORRIFIC people! Admit it, RI, your weather sucks!

Denmark, on the other hand, more often than not, has lovely weather. The rainy summer of a few years ago aside. Summers, if not raining heavily, are heavenly, with crazy amounts of sun (18 hours or something) that lets you BBQ and enjoy the outdoors for weeks on end. (Yes, unless it's raining. I hear you, I hear you.)

Fall is fantastic (at the moment, but yes, I do know it could start raining at any time), crunchy leaves on the ground and wood smoke in the air and apple pies to be made. I wish the Danes didn't start setting up for Christmas already, but what can you do.

The build up to Christmas is actually fine, because Christmas around here is quite magical in my opinion. And as possibly my favorite holiday, I really enjoy all the traditions that make up Danish Christmas.

The time of the year that I hate, truly hate, is the three months after New Years. It's dark, it's cold, it's wet (either freezing snow or bone numbing rain) and there are no holidays to break up the horror of it all. Danes retreat inside their homes during this period and attempt to hibernate. This is the time of year that you can tell the Danes that their weather sucks and they will not object.

But then comes spring and we all breathe a sigh of relief.

So while I am enjoying the weather, the wood smoke and the apple pie, I am still a bit flumoxed. It's cold out. Really cold. And yet there are HUGE MOSQUITOS all over the place. I was pretty sure that mosquitos would go away when it's cold. I mean, all the birds flew south, the sun is barely up over the horizon, and I'm getting out my eggnog recipe and yet I still have mosquito bites!! They get in the house and then I have to chase them around and around before I go to bed. What's up with this?

On a different note, the Danish Boy has his "Panic Day" tomorrow. This is the day that all the newspapers/media organizations (that will be taking interns) begin the selection process. They start at 8 am and it's usually wrapped up by 11 am. I have one very stressed fiance on my hands. But by tomorrow it will be over, finally. We will know for sure if we have to move to Copenhagen or not (the odds are in favor of us moving, sigh).

Fingers crossed that he gets a good one!

So this is Sweden...

Last week the Danish Boy and I drove to Sweden. One of the best parts about doing this is *saying* "I drove to Sweden". But of course, if you know your Nordic current events, you happen to know that Denmark and Sweden built a bridge connecting them. And this is the bridge we drove across to get to the third nordic country I've been to. Finland, watch out!

So how is Sweden? Remarkably like Denmark, except where it's not.

Well, duh, you say. It is a different country.

Yes, but I expected it to be different. In the way that France is different from Germany. And Norway is VASTLY different from Denmark. Fjords, people, *fjords*!

So how is Sweden different ('cause you don't really want to know how it was the same - same is boring, different is cool)?
1) It costs about $50 to drive there and $50 to drive back. (For the bridge fee.)
2) There is a Swedish Kroner (they don't use the Euro) and it is worth less than a Danish Kroner and so it looks like you are spending a *fortune* on coffee, when really you are just spending *a lot*.
3) They took the idea of "city planning" to a whole new level. In a creepy good way.

Okay, that last one needs some explanation, but in a creepy good way. No, really.

So, in southern Sweden they are being overrun by ex-pat Danes who find living across the bridge cheaper than living in Copenghagen and all of those foreigners they keep letting in (Sweden has let in more Iraqis than any other non-Middle Eastern country and also are very flexable with their immigration laws). And they have to go somewhere. Enter the city planners. Sweden has a GREAT transportation system (and if the Danes don't agree, that's because you have a FANTASTIC transportation system too... take it from the Americans, we haven't yet figured out public transportation) - so instead of building ever expanding suburbia, they go a bit farther away from the town and set up a villiage. Connected by GREAT transportation. This villiage includes not only cute streets with the best sub-division tract-houses I've ever seen (each slightly different with YARDS) but centered around a SCHOOL and a COMMUNITY CENTER and, get this, a LIBRARY!

Now, I hate development. I hate tract-homes. I hate suburbia. But if I had money, I would move to one of these villiages in a heart beat.

Damn, I should have taken Swedish language classes when I had a chance.

Updates and things

The date is set for my wedding. I'm a little hesitant to post too much however since I got a rather creepy email from my ex, who seems to be cyber stalking me. However, after I realized that he had a facebook account, which meant that he might be able to view my facebook account, I blocked him and strangely he has not emailed since. Could be a strange coincidence.

However, let it be said that if I tell you: don't contact me, I'll contact you. And then a few weeks later you say: hey, I know I said I wouldn't contact you, but... AND THEN PROCEED TO EMAIL ME ONCE A WEEK FOR THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS, don't be all pissy because I don't email you back. And if you then at the end of this, email me that you googled me and have decided that there are not enough pictures of me online, and how are you supposed tosee me or keep up with my life now that I'm not emailing you information about it DON'T BE SURPRISED IF I BLOCK YOU FROM MY FACEBOOK ACCOUNT AND GET REALLY CREEPED OUT.

Good lord.

Anyway, we have a date and a location that includes food and housing for 70 people. And it occurred to me that as far as my American friends and family are concerned, this means that I am having a destination wedding. So I googled that, to see what was what in regards to destination weddings, but all I got was a lot of sites about getting married on a beach in the carribean. Which I am not doing. Oh well, this wasn't going to be a normal wedding anyway, half of the guests will have never met the other half and that includes the families of the bride and groom.

The dissertation goes as one would expect. Painfully, slowly and with the odd bit of bad excitement (oh, my god, the Risley Park lanx in the British Museum is a FAKE? Sh!t, I have to rewrite that bit now!). I printed it out the other day, so that I could read what I had written (bad plan) and it was rather substatial in it's single-spaced-ness. This is good. The more I write, the more room I have to edit and POSSIBLY the less I have to rewrite.

Cooking has come to an abrupt stop now that the computer is fixed and the dissertation awaits. The Danish Boy is distressed. He knew it wouldn't last forever, but he sure appreciated it while it did.