Sunday, May 01, 2011

Positive results either way

I'm taking the theory part of my Danish drivers license tomorrow.

In Danish.

Whether or not I pass, I still win.

Pass: oh hells, yes, I rock!

Fail: well, it's not like I actually speak Danish, so how can they expect me to pass the first time around!  I win for every question I get right!

Meanwhile, we pick up the keys to our house today!  I have a house!!  I've only been able to pack up my books and other office stuff because:
A) I gotta baby, ya'll.  She demands food and fresh diapers and when we're going "hands free" (i.e. in the baby carrier) she really hates it when I bend over (baby suddenly goes upside down and tries to slide out of the carrier... really not a pleasant moment for any of us) or squat (little legs get smooshed).  I gotta pack when she naps.
B) I done run out of boxes.  You can look at this two ways - I need less books or I need more boxes.

Trick question.  Obviously I need more boxes.

I also need more bookshelves.  I found more books behind other books when I emptied the bookshelf.  Some I had put there to save space and some I had knocked down accidently when stuffing more books into, what turns out to be, too little space.

I've recently been promised more books if I get my ass out to the Copenhagen area.

Seriously, you can never have too many books.  Only not enough room for said books.

It's May 1st or "May Day" - which in certain parts of the world is International Workers Day.  There's a tent in the park across the street and a beer stand and red flags.  I can see drunk communists from my backyard!  And they wonder why I won't put my child out in the baby carriage unattended.  Don't they know my child could catch communism???

Also hard to believe: some people will not recognize the sarcasm in the above paragraph.

As Americans are losing the right to collective bargaining - in Wisconsin they've already lost the right - perhaps we should take a moment to reflect on workers rights and raise a beer in their honor.

Or erect a large phallic symbol and get young girls to dance around it.

My new house has a flag pole - all I need are some brightly colored ribbons and a man with a goat.  ('Cause all pagan rituals involve a man with a goat, dontcha know.)

I would have arranged for this to happen, but I'm busy studying for my theory test.


  1. I think the man with the goat is actually one being - a man with goat legs, or in other words a satyr ;)

    Not only are there books in Copenhagen but there are also . . . bookcases. But in case there aren't any visits possible soon, I do have all the Eddings books set aside and if we plan it right, we might be able to coordinate a handoff in Odense the first weekend of June.

    Good luck on the license test!!

  2. Pan, fauns and satyrs may have shown up to pagan celebrations in the past, but these days it's always a man with a goat on a tether. It's like, 'we're lacking mystical gods made flesh, but HEY, at least Tim here brought a goat!'

    Or maybe I'm thinking of Renaissance Fairs...

  3. Good luck tomorrow!! Hopefully your translator will be better than some I have heard horror stories about.... Maybe you will beat all the statistics around here and pass it the FIRST TIME!!
    Fingers crossed!!

  4. Kelli, I'm not getting a translator - I'm doing it in Danish.

  5. You are a brave, brave, woman. I wish you good vibes for your driving test!

  6. Anonymous4:07 PM

    Good luck!

  7. Didn't pass - missed 9 (only allowed to miss 5) of 25. Balls! Lots of nasty trick questions and a few where all I could understand was "blah blah blah 75 blah blah should you blah blah blah oncoming traffic blah blah?" One unfortunate soul missed 20 questions. She was a bit "dude, W.T.F.?" I'd love to write a blog post about the experience... but who knows when I'll have the time! Now to move to our new house!!

  8. Anonymous8:59 PM

    Bugger. You'll do better next time, I am sure! There is also an online version of the test you can do for training purposes ( it is pretty ok and it is probably possible to practise one-handed if you need to nurse or whatever it is newmums do??

    I always fail the tests too but when I look at the answers, I'm like "OH! OBVIOUSLY!"


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