Monday, July 13, 2009

Dear Denmark... A series of open letters to the authorities

Dear Denmark,

What is with all the bugs? No, seriously. Gnats up the nose, in the eyes, down the cleavage (of which, yes, there is not so much, but still), what gives?

Love,
Archaeogoddess



Dear Denmark,

Would you please train your men to STOP PEEING ON EVERYTHING??

Case in point: today one of your road workers working on the road right in the middle of Vesterport Torv decided to relieve himself on his vehicle. Presumably he was not intoxicated (although, I am noticing that many of your men often are). Presumably he could read (you pride yourself on your education system). Why did he not avail himself of the public toilet located not 10 meters from his work zone? Why did he not avail himself of the restaurant toilet that I am SURE the manager of said location would have let him use without purchase of goods? Why would you pee in the street, in front of God and Country, on your own vehicle? WHY???

No, he was not a "dirty foreigner" and I take offense at that supposition.

Love,
Archaeogoddess



Dear Denmark,

You tried to foil my attempts to fill out your convoluted paperwork required for all manner of bureaucratic business. You asked me to provide paperwork I did not need. You asked me to provide paperwork I did not have. You asked me to spend money to do something you ought to have let me do last year FOR FREE. You asked me to spend said money without the guarantee that this would all work out.

But I triumphed nevertheless!

You have failed this time.

Until we meet again for temporary residence permit renewal, I remain respectfully yours,
Archaeogoddess

10 comments:

  1. But Archeo, peeing anywhere you like (even when there are facilities in easy reach) is freedom of speech.
    Well done with the bureau-hoops.

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  2. See? You should have stayed here in the Levant where everything is perfect.

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  3. I saw a guy, uh, relieving himself in broad daylight in the middle of the sidewalk on Aaboulevard on Saturday and he wasn't even drunk. When I stared balefully at him as I passed, he looked at me like *I* was the crazy one.

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  4. @ Kel D: Doh! I thought that was just limited to peeing on the street while talking on your cell phone! My bad.

    @ Dina: LOL!

    @ Bad immigrant: This is that whole "if you ignore bad behavior it goes away" or "calling attention to bad behavior reinforces bad behavior" style of parenting that Danish parents adhere to, innit? It somehow has become "calling attention to bad behavior at any age is wrong."

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  5. WEll done for triumphing!

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  6. LOL I posted a "No more peeing" blog last week too!!!

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  7. If you get an answer on the bugs, let me know.

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  8. Oh the bugs!

    And to men peeing everywhere, I say we should start a movement where we do it too, like those aggressive breastfeeders who did it en masse in malls in the UK to raise awareness.

    Let's all get together, drink a lot of soda and take to the streets.

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  9. Babs, only if the Kommune will install public bidets. ;)

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  10. Congratulations!

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Keep it clean, don't be mean....