Yesterday I threw some clothes on and looked at myself in the mirror.
"Gah!" I went, "Can I look more unattractive?"
I tried buttoning up the sweater, but that only made it worse. So then I tried putting a belt on, "to create the illusion of a waist" as I'd seen successfully accomplished on a TV show.
I tried unbuttoning the sweater with a belt.
I took off the belt. Unbuttoned the sweater.
As I was trying to get my child into her fleece, and the sweater kept slipping off my shoulders, I found myself thinking, "I'm so hideous and fat and I can't even keep this sweater on!" Then it suddenly hit me.
Everything that was wrong involved this sweater. IT WAS THE SWEATER!!
One handed I ripped the sweater off and threw it at the floor.
"It's YOU DAMNIT!" I yelled, and as the DB was about to say "*I* didn't do anything, why are you yelling at ME?!" I clarified, "THIS SWEATER IS THE SOURCE OF ALL THAT IS UGLY ABOUT ME! I'M NOT UGLY!! THIS SWEATER IS UGLY!! AND I SHAN'T WEAR IT ANYMORE!! LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WEAR CLOTHES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL UGLY!!"
And with that I threw it into a box.
I feel thinner and prettier already.