The other day the DB and I had... a discussion.
In the course of this... discussion... I explained that I tend to get irritated quickly but then I get over it whereas he tends to become annoyed by something slowly and then he obsesses about it. And that this irritates me.
Another irritating trait of his.
He was worried that I was voicing some deep-seated problem that would fester in our relationship and, if left unsolved, would somehow destroy the very fabric of our marriage. More worrisome, by far, was that I stated that I didn't see this problem as being solvable. Because that would be the end of our marriage. OH MY GOD I WANTED A DIVORCE!!
Okay, maybe he didn't get that far in his reasoning, but there was definitely panic and "what do you mean you don't think it can be solved???" Because in his world, when there are problems in a marriage you solve them and being irritated with one's spouse is obviously a problem.
Immediately I wanted to hit him over the head with a cast-iron skillet.
Then I got over it.
'Cause I'm calm and collected, y'all.
I explained that we're different and that being different does not mean I'm going to divorce his ass. I mean, he eats bananas - BANANAS - and I had a baby with him. I just ask him not to kiss me after eating a banana. SO GROSS! Slimy and *gak* I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! Bananas! Did I demand he give them up? Nope. Did I say, "bring another banana in this house and I'll see you dine in Hell?" No. Did I dramatically fling the bananas from the house and ask for compensation for my mental health? No I did not, but I totally should. Ugh. SLIMY!! Bananas!
And he calmed down.
But the whole conversation left me with this surreal feeling. Like, seriously, did he think that it was a problem every time I was irritated with him? Did he really think that if we didn't discuss it or figure out how one of us could change to be less irritating our marriage would fail? Because, honestly, I want to hit him with a cast-iron skillet at least once a DAY.
And he wants to have a discussion every time? Oh hells noes! I really will take a skillet to his skull should he try that shit.
Just now he took the Spawn off my hands for a bit, so I could have a break. He then asked "okay, so what's the plan?" Plan? Uh, you take the Spawn for a bit and I sit here and have a break, that's the mofo plan! I don't care what you do with her, but I am doing SOMETHING ELSE. I'm still not sure what he wanted. I folded the clothes. I'll do dishes with him in a bit. I'll get on the sorting of the bathroom boxes at some point, just not right now. Right now I am having me a Spawn-free moment. Go away before I hit you over the head with this skillet!
But him asking about The Plan is only a little bit irritating. Having a half-hour long discussion on why I'm irritated would be VERY IRRITATING! By the time that I'm done writing this post, I'm going to be over it, so what is the point?
The point, he would say, is so that this situation doesn't happen again.
Right. Okay. Never talk to me again! Then you can't possibly say something that might irritate me! Except I'll probably be irritated by your silence! Or the way you stand! Or your breathing!!
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU CAN'T WIN! I WILL ALWAYS BE IRRITATED!! I'M IRRITABLE! IT'S PART OF MY CHARM!!!