Thursday, April 15, 2010

This post has no soul

I really ought to be posting Stories From the Field, like about the time the camel spider ran through my tent and I was trying to be all quiet about hunting and killing it and then my tent mate from the other side of the partition wall was all "Ah HA! Got you!  Oh shit." And it turned out that she was chasing the same camel spider around her side of the tent and didn't want to alarm me and so was being quiet about it.  Only she was chasing it wearing nothing but her knickers and with bare feet, so she'd whacked it with a slipper that she picked up and that didn't work so she'd put one sandal on it and was holding it down with her hand and thus was now stuck in a Very Compromising Position with a possibly Very Angry Camel Spider under a Not So Substantial Sandal.

It was like Schrödingers Cat and the world was held for a brief moment at the crotch of the Trousers of Time.

I came over with a not-a-proper-hand-ax, or some fancy geology term for a small hand ax that is completely useless for archaeology which is why the museum authority bought so many of them for us, and gave the flat spider a good further flattening.  Just in case.  Because you know how in horror movies when the baddie comes back from the apparent dead?  SPIDERS DO THAT!  Then I carried it's corpse into the desert.  Or the courtyard because it fell off and I wasn't going to pick it up again because I had the post spider heebee-geebees.  And because bending over the pick up a dead spider is EXACTLY when they turn zombie on you and bite your face off.

So that's what this post should have been about.  But instead I was distracted because I'm back to living in a caravan, trying to connect to people who may or may not be in Denmark and my breakfast bun with cheese and jam tastes of onions because I tried to save half an onion last week before going to Spain and now everything in the small 'fridge tastes vaguely of onion.  On one hand, yay, I have half an onion that I can use, on the other hand, I don't need that onion now because the onion flavor is already in everything.

2 comments:

  1. How long does it take a vengeance-crazed maimed zombie spider to crawl from Qatar to Denmark? A long time. But not _forever_.

    ReplyDelete

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