Thursday, October 08, 2009

Muddling along nicely

My parents love the phrase, "just muddling along" to describe that state of being where some things are working, some things are not and frankly, you aren't really sure which are which any more.

I got my reentry visa - despite being told by the UdServ that Of Course the office in Århus can do it while you wait, all they have to do is call - the Århus office wanted me to fill out the form ("Do you have the form ready?" "What form? I didn't know there was a form? I didn't know I needed a reentry visa!" "Oh, well, here you go, just go stand outside and fill it out in the 4th circle of hell we call the 'Waiting Area'.") (Okay, they didn't exactly say that last part... but I did have to go to the waiting area to fill it out.) and then COME BACK IN A WEEK.

Because, as the lady said, she had to fax it to Cph.

Er... I pointed out that the folks in Cph had said that Århus could do it right then and there.

"Well, of course they say that," said the woman, "but we have to call and then we get put on hold."

At this point there is no muddling. But there is plenty of boggling. I boggle well. See previous post's dog picture for accurate image of me boggling. BOGGLE!

I do my best impression of helpless confusion and faint distress. Just a bit of distress you see. If you WIG OUT on people they usually call security and I am sure that would have greatly impacted the future of my visa hunt.

You ever read "she wrung her hands" and wondered, how exactly do you wring your hands? Yeah, I got that DOWN man, I can wring with the PROS.

She called UdServ.

She was on hold for approximately 1 minute and spoke for about 15 seconds and BOOM - I get a visa.

Seriously? You wanted me to come back in a WEEK? What do you people DO ALL DAY?

I get the feeling that UdServ is really just a big room with a wall of cubby-holes where they take your visa paperwork and every day MOVE the paperwork from one hole to the next, like those Advent Calendars, until it gets to the end and then they send you a letter saying it's all okay.

It takes a GAZILLION of people to do this, which is why 90% of Denmark is employed by the state. Wait, scratch that. 90% of Danes who are WORKING, work for the state. Which means that in reality there are only 2 Danes in the office at any given time. Whoops, never mind, sorry about insinuating that the UdServ is overstaffed and lazy, in reality they are understaffed and overworked.

Anyway: I have a reentry visa of DOOM!

I like to add "of DOOM" to the ends of things. Makes it FAR more exciting and important than reality, which is that I spent a good couple of days running around, emailing people, running up and down corridors, calling people, running around town, sitting in the waiting room (of DOOM!), and WRINGING MY HANDS for a sticker that from start to finish took her 2:20 seconds to approve, fill out and stick in my passport....


It's also quite possibly the only redeeming part of "Indiana Jones and the Temple (wait for it) of DOOM." Next time you end up watching that movie (because, you know, you really want to see if it is as bad as you remember) shout out "of DOOM" every time someone speaks in *meaningful tones* - you'll know what these are.

"The antidote!" of DOOM!
"Chilled monkey brains" of DOOM!
"*My* professional name!" of DOOM!
"Fortune and glory." of DOOM!
"Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist." of DOOM!
"Mummies." of DOOM!
"Giant vampire bats!" of DOOM!

Really, I could go on all day.

But I won't.

I also got shot today.

Tetanus booster.

And I gave some blood to a nurse who will check it for antibodies.

At that point in my visit to the doctor's office I was a little unclear about what all was going on, but I understood that if I have lots of good antibodies I do NOT need another shot and if I don't then I'll be proffering up my arm again in a few weeks.

I picked up the mounds of copies that I had bound for easy carriage. And then I went shopping for a few things that I needed because the outdoor store that I do SO love was having a sale and I could finally afford some of the stuff in there.

These things include:
* flip-flops (because I don't trust that the people who used the public shower before me DIDN'T pee in it)
* toiletry bag with a hook (I've been using the zippered bags that my throw blankets came in for years, it works for storage and plane travel, but once you get to where you are going, you're rather screwed if you don't have a cabinet)
* a new rain jacket (because the one I had is 10 years old and doesn't so much keep me dry as make sure that anything in the pockets gets wetter than had I fallen in a lake)

There was then some fancy bank transfers because the credit card I wanted to use has a pin code that is IMPOSSIBLE to remember. Here in Denmark, thou shalt not use thy Visa card except in Very Special Locations and then only if thee hath a pin code. Of DOOM!

I've got to pack now.

I say that, but watch me wander about aimlessly for a while yet. And eat. And wander some more. And then discover the one thing I wanted to wear is not in the piles of clean clothes on my bed, but under the pile of dirty wet clothes in the basket.

But I leave you this LOLDog.

funny pictures of dogs with captions


  1. I agree. Bureaucracy is useless. I swear they all go home at 2 pm and scratch their arses in their gardens.

  2. Oh, God. I swear government offices have that Clown Circus song playing in their offices at all times. It's the only way to explain the madness. Dee da didalida dee da get the point.

    That LOL dog nearly made me snort my coffee when it first surfaced at Hotdog. Love it!

    Keep kickin' butt, lady, sounds like you're on a roll!

  3. If life gives you lemons OF DOOM. Then make lemonade OF DOOM!

  4. You got me with the dog LOL

  5. Great idea!
    I would give your Advent calendar to several Israeli offices of doom, especially Bituah Leumi, but they'd have no clue what to do with Christmas stuff.
    Once the Ministry of Interior mailed my new and old passports in a flimsy white envelope, two sides of which were slit open. :O

  6. Hah, this reminds me of when I went with a friend to the kommune. We were the only ones there, except a lady sitting behind counter A, she told my friend to fill out form F, pull a number from the queue machine and then when it was her turn deliver the form to counter B, right next to counter A. She filled out the form, pulled a number and then waited until the lady from counter A pushed the "next" button and moved from counter A to counter B to receive it! But at least she tried to smile when my friend and I cracked up. ;)

  7. When are you off, Arch?

    PS Words of wisdom (huh!) from old region-living-hand: take favourite comfort foods with you. Take lots of nice face wipes, and nice eye gel, and really nice skin things or shower soap that smells nice. Really. It's desert yes?

  8. tested for antibodies ... OF DOOM!

  9. A hilarious post... of DOOM!

    Glad to hear you got the visa sorted out.


Keep it clean, don't be mean....