Saturday, October 24, 2009

Face/palm

Ever going along in life, minding your own business and then suddenly you learn that something you thought to be one thing is in fact something totally different and for the last 30 years of your life you've been an IDIOT?

And I'm not talking about the discovery I made after coming to Denmark: did you know celery has an edible root? That came as a real surprise.
This is celery... with root ball. The root ball is called celeriac so that chefs will not be confused when they are told to add it to soups. 'Cause it matters if you have to add celery leaves vs celery stalks vs celery root to soup. This, at least, I know.
But hey, I'm not a farmer and in the US the fruit and veg section is HUGE in our mammoth sized supermarkets so the fact that I had never seen celeriac before is NOT MY FAULT.

At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

No, I'm not refering to that revelation. I'm referring to something that I bet you all know (or at least after this post you are going to pretend that you all knew because you don't want to look like the complete and utter idiot that I'm about to reveal myself as).

You know how people in belegured countries are always going to The Hague to talk to the UN International Court of Justice? Yeah, did you know The Hague is a CITY??

I swear to god, I thought it was like The White House. You know, a building. Because you read that the UN head quarters is in The Hague and that the President of the US lives in The White House so it never occured to me that The Hague is a city.

WHO THE HELL NAMES THEIR CITY WITH A 'THE'?

The Dutch.

Thank god I read guide books from cover to cover. Discovering that The Hague is a city in the Netherlands came as a shock. A pure WTF moment. Followed by me thinking, "I can't be the only one not to know this." Immediately following that thought was this, "oh, yes, I can."

Compounding the idiocy is the fact that my BFF studied the UN in high school for Academic Decathlon (think nerd competition with real medals and ribbons and trophies and stuff) and somehow, in the 13 years since, "The Hague is not a building" never came up in conversation. What the hell kind of best friend does not mention this? Laura, you were supposed to say, at some point over the last 13 years, "psst, by the way, don't know if you know this, but you really ought to before you make a complete and utter ass of yourself on the interwebs, The Hague is a city. Not a building. No, I know it sounds like The White House, but it SO ISN'T!"
This is the UN headquarters in the city named "The Hague," I don't know what the hell the building itself is called. Probably something snazzy like "The UN Headquarters in The Hague which is a city and not the name of this building."
Actually, it's called the Peace Palace. What kind of stupid name is that? The Hague is a MUCH cooler name.
So there you have it folks. I am an idiot. It's now public knowledge. Feel free to tell me of any idiot-revealing revelations you may have had in the comments.

(Oh and to learn y'all something new: face/palm is when you smack the palm of your hand to your face out of the sheer and utter stupidity of it all.)

And on a completely random note: I spent more time trying to get the fonts to work for this post than I did writing it. Either I'm wicked fast at admitting my stupidity or I am way worse at using blogger's "helpful" buttons than I thought. Next time I'll just learn the stupid html codes and type it up m'self.

13 comments:

  1. And still, after I hit post, the damn fonts are wrong. WRONG!

    I'm awfully tempted to switch to WordPress.

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  2. Used to know someone who once lived in The Hague, or as she called it 'Den Haag', but every time I visualized her it was in bed in front of a huge court house.

    Celeriac is wonderful and very healthy. Try it in soup, or sliced very thin and sauteed with other vegetables. And apparently it's one of those negative calorie veggies, so how can you lose?

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  3. I tried to switch to wordpress once. It was terrible. Celeriac mash with baked salmon = heaven.
    Once in awhile we all post about what idiots we are. Because we are all idiots. And to admit this, with the accompanying shameful details, is somehow therapeutic. At least, that's my story. I'm just a woman with a brand new sports bra and a bad back.

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  4. lol, Do not feel bad! Although seriously... THE Hague, THE Netherlands....
    not cool! :o)

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  5. I'm with Kelli, THE Dutch from THE Netherlands might be trying to keep a theme going with THE Hague.
    I had no idea it was a city either, so you're not the only duffer out there!

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  6. Thank you for educating me on the celery...I never knew what that vegetable was. I'm off to the market again for that delicious veggie.

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  7. Confession time: I didn't know The Hague was a city until I just read this post. It's entirely possible that I knew it at one time...in fact given my AD history, I presume I did, in fact, know it at one time, but that was many years and many beers ago, so I don't actually remember ever knowing such a thing.

    My memory...it's a sieve...and currently unless it's unrelated to cooking, parenting or Tudor England, I'm not going to remember it...sigh...

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  8. *lol*

    Don't worry, I've had my moments as well. The worst one was K9. I'm a dog person, so I saw this all the time and always wondered, what is this K-9? Until a few years ago when I was watching Animal Planet with Danish subtitles and the person on screen said CANINE. :p

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  9. I like THE Hague. If i get lost during my wanderings it is nice to know I have reached THE Hague and not just some place that lacks an original name.

    Must explore this mysterious root you write about. I am still stuck at the point where I bought a Ramlosa berry flavoured sparkling water instead of water. So I whine- Husband! why didnt you tell me its not water and he says everyone knows Ramlosa is not water. Sheh!

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  10. @ Laura: Oh I'm with you on the sieve! Like I *know* I have your phone number somewhere. At least I'm *pretty sure* I have it. *Mostly kinda sure* in fact. Somewhere. Can't remember where. Will find it. I think. Maybe. Damn it, just email it to me again.

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  11. Well, you're not alone, because I definitely didn't know it was a city but in fairness to me, I hadn't ever really thought about it either!

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  12. Here's your regular 'face palm'

    http://slackmac.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/facepalm.jpg

    And here's a double 'face palm'

    http://www.fallen-legion.eu/news/data/upimages/DoubleFacePalm.jpg


    I like celeriac, but never came across it until I moved here - not something that was eaten in our family.

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  13. The Hague is seaside town with a beach that reminds me of Blackpool or some similar English resort. This is a weird disconnect for a city one usually associates with high-end diplomacy, like finding that MI6 has its headquarters in Skegness.

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Keep it clean, don't be mean....