On Sunday the DB came into the house, all worried and fretful, to tell me that there was something dripping from his car.
"It's probably just condensation," I said, "because it freezes overnight and then thaws in the morning."
No, he insisted, it was fuel!!!
But, I pointed out, that was crazy talk. It doesn't smell like fuel. The last time we had a fuel leak in a car, I could smell it from a meter away.
He insisted. He brought a paper towel soaked in the liquid in for me to sniff.
Okay, it sorta smelled like fuel, but not that strongly, it could just be random engine smell.
No, no, the DB said, it was fuel!!!
You know those arguments you have with people you love? The ones where you know you can't win, no matter what you say because they are freaking out and insist that you aren't taking them seriously and for the love of god, don't you trust them to not be idiots??? Yeah, it was one of those.
He wanted the emergency-car-peoples (AAA in the US, Falck in DK) to take the car all the way to our mechanic half-way across the country. I said, uh, shouldn't we determine if it *IS* a fuel leak first? Because I'd feel really stupid sending the car that far away if it's nothing. Because in order to get it back, we'd have to spend a weekend up at his mom's and really, who wants to do that?
Okay, maybe it wasn't the best reason, but since my MIL has been known to drive us both batshitcrazy it's a valid reason.
But but but, he argued, blah blah blah fuel leak!!!
We compromised when he finally said he could have the emergency guys come out and look at the "leak" and if they thought it was a fuel leak they could take it far far away and if it wasn't they could take it to the mechanic in the next village.
So today the Falck guy came and looked at the car. Not a fuel leak, he said.
But but but, said my dear husband (whom I love, really, I do), fuel leak!!!
Okay, said the Falck guy, I will take it to the local mechanic and if he says it's a fuel leak, I'll take the car to your mechanic, okay?
The DB agreed.
And the mechanic said: Condensation. No fuel leak.
I'm sure he managed not to make the DB feel stupid. A bit of manly "you were right to be concerned" and all that. In fact, I'm positive of this because he came home and said "thankfully, it turned out not to be a fuel leak, but just condensation" and he managed to say this without betraying any embarrassment or damaged pride, but with a touch of defiance, as if I was somehow going to challenge his proclamation.
I tried not to shout "I told you so!" But his tone was a bit "I told you so" and a bit "now, now, dear, I knew there was nothing to worry about." And well, I couldn't just let that go. I'm not that good of a wife. So I smiled beatifically and said "Well, I'm all pleased with myself. My car skills are pretty good, if I might say so. Did I not say that it was condensation? Why yes, I do believe I did!"
I'm pretty sure he would have preferred "I told you so!" and a fist pump.