Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Mothergroupin'

I've got nothing against my Mothergroup - they are all lovely ladies and I'm going to keep on going and one of these days I'll actually host.  Probably even before the moving boxes are unpacked, because, let's be honest here - some of these boxes will get unpacked about the time Spawn goes off to college and I'll be all, "shit, you need a cardboard box... let me empty this one sitting in the kitchen and give it to you... oh, that's where that went!"

Random placement of furniture is also a problem.

I do like the Mothergroup because I leave the house for something other than trying to calm a screaming child and I hear realDanish, which keeps me a-practicin', and I get to compare my child to other children the same age.

Wait, whut?  You compare your child to other children?  Bad mommy, no biscuit!

Sometimes comparison is a good thing.  Lest we start thinking my child is the most gifted child on the planet ("Oh my god, she's found her toes!  GENIUS!  Call Nobel!!") or lagging ("When do babies crawl?  Should my child be crawling already?  Oh GOD, my child isn't CRAWLING!  I've FAILED as a parent!") or mutant ("She fit in this outfit yesterday, I swear.  How is it I can't get it over her head today??).  I'm proud to say my child is completely normal and average.  One hundred percent the most amazing creature on the planet, fer shizzle, and the cutest baby evah, but not weirdly "specialists need to be involved" different.

But let me be honest (okay, when am I not? We get some brutal honesty going on on this here blog.), there were times and still ARE times where I want to throw my coffee mug on the floor and announce that I am *not* going to be part of a Mothergroup and that's IT!  The reason why is completely irrational, but let me clue you in to what I've been hearing for the past three months:

So, do you have a Mother's Group?  Do they have a Mother's Group on your island?  Have you joined a Mother's Group?  My wife was ever so glad for her Mother's Group.  Have you joined a Mother's Group?? So, are you going to your Mother's Group?  I'm so glad to hear you have a Mother's Group.  Have you joined a Mother's Group??? How's your Mother's Group?  How nice it is that you are going to a Mother's Group! HAVE YOU JOINED A MOTHER'S GROUP?!?!

Maybe it's the rebel in me, but all this yay-mothergrouping was really turning me off to the concept.  I mean, it's all a little groupthink 1984ish feeling.  Joiny joiny.  Meld and assimilate.   It's not a Mother's Group - it's a Mothergroup.

I can't decide if this poster is for groupthink or against it.

And that results in me going, "I'll never join you!" and turning down what could be a valuable support system... not to mention meeting the mothers of my child's future classmates and friends.

If only you would choose to join the Mothersgroup - 
with our combines strength we could rule this galaxy as 'Mothers with Spawns'...

But I swallowed my initial gut doubt and figured I'd give it a try.  Maybe it wouldn't be so creepy as everyone was making it out to be (not that they were trying... but still... it was all so groupy).  And it turned out to be...

Five women and their babies who get together for coffee and chitchat.

Strangely enough, this photo seems a bit sinister to me.

And this is just LOL.

I suppose someday we may get ambitious and go and do something bigger than hanging out in each other's kitchens... but for now it's enough for me to get us dressed, out the door, and on the bus to a different part of the island.  So far the other mothers are non-judgmental and open - some are breastfeeders and some use formula, some are good at dressing their child in cute matching kit and some are just happy they got their child dressed, some are showered and tidy and some are barely awake - and no one makes an issue out of it.  It's nice to see mothers getting along and supporting each other.

As long as it doesn't go all Stepford Wives-ish... cause then I'm outta there.

Not a single one of these women has mom-hair... I just can't compete.

6 comments:

  1. Heather3:48 PM

    I rebelled lol

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  2. JOIN US! JOIN US! I'm glad it is useful and not creepy. I would be as wary as you!

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  3. The main thing is getting out of the house for grown-up interactions. :-) Even if it is in Danish... it feeds your brain. lol

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  4. I've always been a bit sceptical - for the same reasons as you. Having 2 colleagues whose children are in their twenties who STILL see their mothergroup didn't exactly help.
    But I suppose having a forum where you can be sure people are not bored stiff even though you've been discussing cloth vs paper diapers for 45 minutes is nice, and maybe you'll find that you have loads more in common with them and, fastforward 25 years, you will be the one saying "aye, I remember when I first came to this island and had a baby, I don't know what would have become of me if I hadn't had the mothergroup"

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  5. Mothergroup sounds, frankly, awesome. But only because when I had the midget, I literally had no friends who had just had a baby that I could relate to. The only person I even knew (you know her, too...we went to hs together) that had a kid at the same time was embarrassed to buy any baby clothes from Walmart and gave her 8 month old diet pepsi in her bottle. The same woman also got upset with her four year old for playing in the grass in her $60 jeans. (Who, I ask you, spends $60 on a pair of jeans for a freaking four year old?!) Basically, despite having kids that were only two weeks apart and having gone to the same hs, I totally could not relate to the woman at all.

    Now that my cousins and sis in law have moved up here, it's kinda like having a Mothergroup, only we're related, so we get really bitchy with each other sometimes, which I'm guessing your Mothergroup doesn't do. We get together and talk parenting stuff, or cooking or whatever, and let the kids run and play and have grown up conversations. It's awesome and has been hugely helpful for my mental state.

    I think it's kinda cool that they have such a thing as a Mothergroup and that it's sort of customary to join one. Just one more reason that Denmark is better than here and that you're never coming hooommmeee! **said in tones of mock despairing agony**

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  6. Hey.. have you thought of joining the INTERNATIONAL mother's group in Svendborg? (Not sure if there's one on Æro, yet). They meet every other Saturday, and offers additional networking ops. Plus, all the kids are not a-few-weeks-to-almost-the-exact age, so it won't get as monotonous as quickly. Plus.. it's interNAtional = well.. i don't really have to explain, do I? Unfortunately it's also groups of mammas-and-their-kids-drinking-coffee, but because of the raaaaaaaaaaaange of ages (couple of weeks to almost 2), there's more action going on. And their meetings aren't held in anyone's kitchen. They've closed up for the summer, now, but you could consider it for after summer.. if you're up to the ferry rides, that is.

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