So I live on this small island, right? Where everyone knows everyone. So it was only a matter of time before we finally discovered where Alot's real home was. 'Cause, you know, going down and knocking on the door of the house we suspected had us both a little shy.
The following conversation did not take place, but totally could have. Almost all of these statements have been made regarding the cat situation at one time or another.
DB: Why don't you go, you know more about cats.
AG: Dude, I can't call and order pizza, why would I be able to go knock on someone's door to ask about the cat?
DB: You talk to random people in the supermarket!
AG: You are a journalist, talking to people you don't know is what you do!
DB: I'm waiting for the right opportunity.
AG: Maybe I'll write a nice letter.
Anyway, because I know a woman who knows our two-doors-down neighbor, she acted as the go-between. It's fine that Alot hangs out with us, but we need to stop feeding him.
1) He's getting full meals at one house already, we're going to over-feed that cat and kill him, since he's not the kind of cat that stops when he gets full.
2) She doesn't really want to lose her pet permanently to us, so if he has to come home from time to time, she at least gets to see him.
Not feeding Alot means we have a noisy cat doing his best to impress upon us the gravity of the situation. He's STARVING! Look - WASTING AWAY! Which would be believable except that during the week he was eating at both houses he got quite the gut.
He's also developed this interesting technique of dragging himself around by his front paws, while the rest of him is stretched out flat on the floor. He also rolls onto his back and pulls himself along the bottom of the radiators and the couches with his front legs.
I'm pretty sure this is his "I'm so weak, I can't walk - help me, I'm dying!"
I'm not falling for it and I'm not stopping him. It's the best way of dusting under the couches and radiators that I've ever seen. And the entertainment value is incalculable.
When he's not begging for food, he's happy to be pet and be played with. The Ikea paper bag we have lying on the floor is The Best Toy Ever! He's also really taken to cuddling, so he often lays on me when I'm sitting on the couch and will lay there for hours if I rub his belly.
Nope, it's pretty easy to not be a cat owner. No food bills, vet bills, litter boxes (which I can't empty anyway, hehehe), etc. He's just my cuddle buddy. And free entertainment.