Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's not the distance

Okay, it *totally is* the distance.

I know it's not that far.  Because in a pre-pregnant state I can walk there in under 20 minutes, so it's probably only a kilometer - which is less than a mile.  In fact, it's probably only a quarter mile 'cause it's like three New York blocks or something.  That's like once around the track (this refers to my high school which has a track that is a quarter mile round - I'm telling you this because it occurred to me y'all might not have gone to my high school).  It's not that far.

Except I've already walked it once today.

And I'm carrying a small angry beast inside of me, one that is head-butting my cervix and clawing at my uterus with its little hands and kicking my diaphragm with its little feet.

The "it" I must walk to is the citizen service at the county/city hall.

Because of this NemID thing that I've talked about.

The borgerservice (citizen service) is only open when a virgin slaughters a unicorn during the second full moon of the month (or you know,  M, Tu, Th, F from 9-12 [possibly] and Th afternoons from 2:30 to some unknown time).  I thought it opened on Thursday at 1:30, so I walked up there after Danish class.  But NO, *I* was thinking of the pharmacy, which also closes for a lengthy lunch break at the same time that everyone else takes a lunch break and runs out to buy things in the pharmacy.  I was an hour early.  So I went home, totally forgetting to write down when the blasted place is open.  That's okay, I has the intertoobs!  I tried to see when the opening hours are by going to the website.  But the page that gives you times and phone numbers is ERROR 404, which means it's been eaten by a bear, so I'm just going to have to take my butt up there again to see if it's open now.

Frak that!  I figure... it's cold.  It's going to snow.  I am going to drive.

Only I can't get the car unlocked.

*hangs head and sobs quietly in the car port*

Back inside.  Ring to husband to complain about the inequity of life.

Get hung up on because DB is in an interview.

Try to blame the cat.  Fail miserably.

I tried to psyche myself up "come on girl, it's not far, just walk slowly and steadily and you'll get there and you'll deal with this crap and it'll be out of your hair and you'll be so proud of yourself and then you can go back to the pharmacy, which will be open and you can buy cotton swabs and more of that genius antacid and then waddle home and you can even take a bath or something equally awesome."

But my hips are done for the day.  And the Spawn hasn't stopped moving for about an hour (sleep DAMN YOU).  And I am not walking up there if there is the slightest chance it will be closed because I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection.

Just about everyone on the planet has bigger problems than me today... however, I think I'm just going to curl up here on the couch, cover my head with a blanket and throw myself a little pity party for one.

10 comments:

  1. Hiya,
    I just thought I'd comment on your non-sleeping Spawn. I could be wrong, but they move EVEN IN THEIR SLEEP. My jordemoder told me that (when I complained that it seemed that the child NEVER SLEPT).. so.. it must be true. Hang in there.. not much longer. Hopefully you'll gaze at his gorgeous face (all the oxytocin'll make ya think he's the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen.. least I hope so), and decide that it was all worth it :)

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  2. Or if you get desperate, try gin?

    Stupid opening hours!

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  3. I'm not surprised the Spawn moves, even in sleep. The Spawn has magic powers.

    None of these powers involve changing opening hours, but instead seem to center on amazing burps and impressive gaseous clouds of doom.

    Don't tempt me with the gin, K.

    Although, if I mix it with the pineapple... it makes a really bad piña colada?

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  4. Doesn't movement make fetuses (feti?) fall asleep. It seemed like when I was pregnant with Cass, she was mostly still, just kind of being rocked to sleep by the movement, but the second I was still, she started up with her gymnastic routine and would hook her toes under my ribs. I should have known then what a pain she would be...

    Wait...I was making a point...oh, yeah, so if you walked back to that office, then you might have lulled the baby to sleep. Of course, all this is worthless conjecture on my part since I'm guessing one of the rare times that the office is open is NOT 10:30 at night on Thursdays...

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  5. It's practically one your five a day with pineapple juice.
    I am not going to deal with Nem ID until I feel totally at ease with the world. This is quite freeing as my life appears to be in no hurry to settle down and give me time to sort out my online banking.

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  6. Anonymous11:45 PM

    One of your funniest posts yet!

    Luv, The Writer who used to write Babs x

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  7. @ Laura - I think it does. Only problem, if I'm moving, I'm probably not sleeping or resting, which is what everyone keeps telling me to do.

    And I'm tryin' y'all. I'm with you guys 100% - I should be resting and enjoying the naps and putting up my feet. Now if someone would just hold this uterus for me...

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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete

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