Thursday, May 27, 2010

My Home: enter at your peril...

So lots of "want photos!" come my way regarding the house.  And I ran about taking photos here and there and then there was the usual hysteria on the couch where I tried to figure out how to put all of these in a post that wouldn't be a complete disaster and then it came to me.  Like the Virgin Mary, speaking words of wisdom... only it was Bill Bryson.  Or maybe not, because I haven't actually read the book yet, it being brand spanking new and I not having money for random books of bliss...

I seem to be wandering.  Where was I?

Oh, yes.  We are going to do a home tour.  Room by room.  Or maybe more than one room on some occasions.  Screw it, folks, we'll do as many damn rooms per post as I freakin' feel like, okay?

So without further ado: the entry way.

This is the front door.  Is this not an awesome door??  And yes, my house is yellow with white trim.  Strangely enough, a vast majority of the houses I've lived in have been yellow with white trim.  My mom has an obsession for yellow houses with white trim, especially if they have green shutters.  Someone, please make my mother's day by bringing her 16 green shutters for her house?  Oh, and while you are at it, you may want to finish painting the trim.  Bring a ladder.  Oh, and repaint the house... it's faded a lot over the years.  Especially on the south side, facing the sun.

Going in through this door, which is RIGHT ON THE STREET, because front yards happen to other people not living in this town, you enter my vestibule.


If I were to be staging a house to be sold, I obviously would have cleaned.  If I had not been worried about being hit by a car while I hunkered down on my front stoop to take this photo, I would have at least moved the jackets so you could see the newel post.  You'll just have to trust me that there is a newel post and not a small child under all of that mess.

Anyway, the door on the left leads to the parlor.  Which we just found out will be stocked with a large dining set that we are getting for free from the inlaws.  In fact, all the furniture we had "bought" is now "free" and we aren't paying a dime apart from the cost of getting it from there to here.  Seems that attempts to sell it for a small fortune were undone by a Danish public obsessed with Arne Jacobsen egg chairs, who are all noses up at heavy wooden country-style furniture.  I WIN, Denmark!

The door "straight ahead" is to the kitchen.  Just to the right of that door, hidden by the staircase, is another small door to a tiny bathroom.  Not a half-bath, but one fully equipped with shower.  And hidden closet to utilities.  Oh, and a blocked up doorway to the world's smallest courtyard.  All ahead on "My Home"!!

Standing in the door from the kitchen looking back at the door that is now CLOSED!!  You are trapped!!

You decide to approach the tiger saying "nice kitty kitty," wishing you had a steak in your pocket.  Turn to page 83.

You decide to claw at the door and cry like a baby.  Turn to page 15.

You decide that the tiger is a figment of your imagination and stride boldly towards the next door.  Turn to page 106.


I sucked at "Choose your own adventure" books.  I just thought you should know.

So welcome to my home.  Toss your jacket over the rail and kick off your shoes.  I'll bring you a gin and tonic and we'll wander into the next room...

7 comments:

  1. Utter HOUSE ENVY!!!!! It's beautiful, you lucky gal!!!

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  2. I LOVE the entry!!! and the idea of a gin and tonic right now!

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  3. I love the front door. Abso-freaking-lutely jealous right now!! And also, missing you like crazy. The Choose Your Own Adventure made me laugh out loud, so that the midget looked at me like I'm insane...actually the two events may have been unrelated...

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  4. I love the door! also suffering from major space envy.

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  5. For years I wanted a checkerboard floor like that! It wouldn't work in this house, but it looks great in yours. :)

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  6. Okay, so where's my gin and tonic?

    Great house! I love your front door and entry. What year was your house built?

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Keep it clean, don't be mean....